25 rules of wisdom

1-Even the boss must get his fingernails dirty. Don't make the people under you do things you haven't done or aren't willing to do. Once in a while, I'll go out into the field with a trusted capo of mine to send a message to my crew. If you're a leader, then lead by example. How can anyone argue with you then? 2- A handful of luck is better than a mountain of wisdom. OK, this one isn't Sal's or mine for that matter, but it's still an important rule. As smart as you can be, there are always things in life you have to be prepared for. Even a wise man can slip on ice. Don't underestimate the power of being at the right place at the right time. 3- For every one word you say, let your enemies say 10. Sort of like Rule 8 (you'll see it soon, shut up), but I like to emphasize this point by saying that the more you reveal to your enemy, the more weapons he has to hurt you with. Let your enemy talk because information is power, and information can destroy. 4- Cash is cash, even if it comes from an elephant's stomach. When you have greenbacks in your hands, there are no maybes, no ifs, no credit checks, no anything. A check can always bounce, a credit card is for suckers, cash is always cash (which is why my establishments only accept hard currency). 5- Never reveal 100% of anything to anyone. If you have a great idea on how to become a millionaire, or how to convince the IRS that you really did only make $18,542 as a dental surgeon, never tell anyone all the details of your plan. Always hold something back, reveal only 75% or 90% of the plan if you have to. It protects you (especially if that last 10% is illegal) and ensures that your great idea stays yours. 6- Never make a decision when you're angry. Smart, careful men realize they must have a clear head to think. When you're angry, it's your boiling bloodlines that speak for you, not your logic. Control your emotions. This is one of the most important rules there is. When you're angry, you make threats you often can't deliver on, or decisions you come to regret. Don't say I didn't warn you. 7- A man is nothing without his word. One of the few things even a poor man has is his word. Your word should never be broken. Always keep your promises (you should never make promises, but I know how some of you clowns can't stop yourselves). The minute someone doesn't trust you is the minute you lose them. 8- Keep your mouth shut. If you have to lie, keep it short and simple. If you don't have anything smart to say, don't say anything at all. Even if you have

something to say, don't say it, you just end up revealing something to the other person, giving them more ammo to shoot you with. If your mouth stays shut, mistakes go the way of the dinosaurs. If you lie, there's no use in you coming up with some conspiracy theory. A short and sweet lie is easier to defend (and remember) than some elaborate story about how some transvestite got lipstick on your tie. 9- The best way to dodge an enemy's bullet is by never being in a position where he can hit you. Don't put yourself in a position where you can get in trouble. Avoid being put between a rock and a hard place. Never be in the same room with your enemy and he'll never have a clear shot at your head. 10- When you can't win a war by playing fair, bend the rules. Better yet, break them. Unless you're some salami who's as motivated as a slug, you always want to win. Winning doesn't mean you have to play by the rules. It means winning. If you want to get ahead in life, you have to learn the rules of the side-game. Those who run this country learned this rule a long time ago. 11- Never forgive betrayal. Never. 12- Whenever you're in doubt about whether an enemy should respect or fear you, always choose fear. Respect is great, fear is better. Machiavelli made this one famous. Fear is a better deterrent than respect; fear will stop an enemy in his tracks more than respect will. 13- A woman's anger can always be subdued with a diamond ring (and a man's with sex). Is this a sexist rule? Who gives a damn? If a woman gets a diamond, she should shut up and be happy (it worked for our grandfathers, it should work for us). As long as my wife doesn't change, this rule will always apply with me. For men, I always tell my crew: A good night with a mistress will clear your head. 14- Behind every great man is a great woman. Just because I tell you to follow Rule 13, doesn't mean that you should disrespect your wife. You need the stability of a great woman to be great. A man without a family can never be a complete man. A mediocre wife will always stop you from fulfilling your potential. 15- Nothing lasts forever. Whether it's love, good fortune, success in business, your looks, or your hair, nothing lasts forever. This one is self-explanatory.

16- Never give a tip to someone who isn't looking. Whether you're in a bar being served by a hot waitress or giving a stock tip to someone at your office, don't give a big tip if; A) The waitress isn't even looking at you or going to know it's from you; or B) The idiot you're giving the hot stock tip to doesn't even have an investment account or a clue what Nasdaq is. 17- If you go to war, always strike first. Strike hard, and hope it's the only strike you need. When a conflict or fight is inevitable, always strike the first blow. You will knock your enemy off balance, and if your blow was strong enough, you could knock your enemy out completely. 18- Peace is only a prelude to war. Never be complacent. Just because everything is going great in your life now, doesn't mean it always will. Always be ready for the worst, even if you don't live as though the worst is actually happening to you. 19- Have a priest on call if you choose to be a careless man. If you're not careful, or at least cautious in your actions or words, you're doomed to make your wife a widow or torpedo your career. 20- When in doubt, follow your gut. Instincts were given to us so that we can make a decision when all the elements in a decision-making process aren't obvious. Listen to your gut, it'll save you more often than it'll hurt you. 21- Man appoints, God disappoints. I never quite understood what this meant. Sal used to say it all the time, and I would just nod my head even if I didn't know what he was trying to say. I don't even think Sal knew what it meant. Still, it sounds good. 22- Keep your friends close, your enemies closer. People always misunderstand this saying. It doesn't mean you have to be best friends with your enemy, it just means you should do everything in your power to keep tabs on your enemy. Have someone you trust in his organization. Know his moves, predict his thoughts, and capitalize on his weaknesses. 23- Overestimate the time something takes, and underestimate its rewards. Even the best plans sometimes don't come to fruition (yeah, big word, I know). Most of the time, we have to work to get something, and that means being patient. Overestimating the work and underestimating the reward will never leave you disappointed.

24- To make money, you have to spend money. I hate greasing all these corrupt politicians, but most of the time, I makes me 10 times more money as a result. Don't be afraid to spend money if it will bring you more. Take a loan at the bank if you have a great idea for a business. Pay a good employee a decent salary. Pay for expert advice. If you are a smart businessman, you will always come out on top. 25- Lucky is the man who suffers humiliation in front of others, for his revenge will be sweeter. If someone ever embarrasses you, make sure he gets a good laugh; make sure people see this embarrassment because the memory will eat at you until you get your revenge. Too often, people don't retaliate when they're humiliated. Raise the stakes, and you'll have no choice but to return with a vengeance.

general etiquette
Always be polite Even if you don't like someone, there is no need to lower yourself to their level. Be polite and courteous; show that you're the better man. Do not curse Swearing is a big no-no. It shows that you don't have the vocabulary to express your thoughts appropriately. Furthermore, it is always very crude and impolite to be vulgar. Do not speak loudly When you speak loudly, it raises the stress level among company. It always implies that you can't reason with people and rely on "brute force" to get your point across. It also draws attention -- negative attention. Do not lose your temper When you lose your temper, you are showing everyone that you can't control your emotions. If you can't even control yourself, then how can you possibly control anything else? Keep your cool at all times (it won't be easy but it is worth the effort) and people will take positive note of your levelheadedness. Do not stare Ogling someone is the equivalent of psychological aggression. You don't want to intimidate people for no reason. Do not interrupt Let people finish what they are saying before adding your comments. Interrupting others is a sign of poor etiquette and a lack of social skills. If you want to come across as egotistical, you can do so by constantly interrupting.

Do not spit A lot of men do this almost subconsciously. Spitting is very crude and not too pretty to look at. Do not spit in public unless you want to look like you were raised in a sewer. Respect your elders In fact, you should respect others as you would like them to respect you. I am specifying elders because it seems that today, young men think they know it all. Well, they don't. Just think of yourself five years ago... you're much smarter and experienced today, aren't you? Of course, yet you thought you knew it all five years ago.
Do not laugh at others' mistakes This is perhaps one of the cruelest things one can do. When you mess up, the last thing you want is for someone not only to bring it to your attention, but to ridicule you on top of that. Remove your hat indoors This rule seems to have gone out the window these days. You should remove your headwear upon entering a building. Furthermore, never keep your hat on while at the dinner table. It reflects very poor etiquette. Wait for seating before eating When sitting down for a meal, you should wait until all the guests are properly seated and ready to commence the meal before eating. Everyone should start dining at the same time; this is a subtle but very important rule.

Always open doors This is perhaps the most basic rule of male etiquette out there. It is also one of the easiest to follow so you have no reason to forget it. Whether she is about to enter your car, restaurant, club, or anyplace with a door, you should always hold it open. If there are many doors, then hold them open one after the other. Put on her coat Always help a lady put on her coat or overgarment. This is a simple but powerful action. Help with her seat If an unaccompanied lady is sitting next to you, it is important that you help her be seated by pulling her chair out for her and gently pushing it back into place, with the lady seated of course. Give up your seat If a lady arrives at the table and there are no available seats, you should stand up and offer yours to her. Stand at attention Always stand when a lady enters or exits the room. This rule has been

somewhat relaxed, so you can stand upon entrance but remain seated upon exit. Nonetheless, if you can do both, you should. Give her your arm When escorting a lady (that you know) to and from social events, you should offer her your arm. This is a little more intimate, but serves well when walking on uneven ground -- especially if she's wearing high heels. Ask if she needs anything This is one that most guys already do, but helps complete the gentleman in all of us nevertheless. When at social events, make sure to ask the lady if you can get her something to drink (or eat, depending on the event). Show her that you care about her comfort and needs.

Gordon Ramsay Native Scot Gordon Ramsay is one of the worlds most celebrated chefs. His restaurants have been awarded three stars by the culinary industrys most influential ratings guide, Michelin, 10 times. Yet his success has nothing to do with wanting to be liked; he has no interest in winning a popularity contest. Watch him on Hells Kitchen and youll see why: Hes a monster of a taskmaster, indifferent to feelings and focused strictly on results. His attitude is that you do not have to like him, but as a chef, you must respect him. To that end, Ramsays restaurant staff is remarkably loyal. The chef himself claims to have an 85% retention rate since 1993. These are people that can go if they like. Why dont they? Lesson: In team-building, do not tolerate mediocrity Simply put: Ramsays employees dont leave because they know theyre working for the best. They know that whatever his defects, in the end, the man wants to be the best at what he does. Others who want the same thing realize that the abuse he shells out is insignificant compared to the greater achievements. Ramsays refusal to accept mediocrity on his team is an apt lesson to apply to your professional life. Doing so weeds out the weakest links, and it strengthens the team by erasing any doubts in anyones mind about any other member. In the end, it creates a tremendous amount of confidence. Muhammad Ali Muhammad Ali was a master of self-promotion and surely ranks as not only one of the greatest boxers of all time, but also the smartest trash-talker in sports history. Ali was supremely confident in himself, loaded with charisma and never feared a fight. He openly declared himself the greatest and often predicted the round in which he would knock out his opponent. In the early days of Alis career, opponents read his brag-and-boast routine as nervous bravado, but few knew how prepared he was, how hard he trained and just how much he wanted to win. By the time Ali got to the ring,

he had every reason to believe he was invincible because he had pushed himself beyond his limits, beyond what he believed any other man could endure. Lesson: Always come prepared Whatever impression they might give off, alpha males never enter an important situation unprepared or deluded with the belief theyre already good enough to handle it. To them, this is a careless attitude for someone intent on winning at everything they do. Weve all seen one rather minor example of the unprepared man; he gave the toast at the last wedding you attended. He thought he could glide through the toast because he knew his buddy so well and because hes a competent public speaker. But not two sentences in, hes fumbled and maybe said something dumb or inappropriate. By preparing for all their challenges with intensity, alpha males leave nothing to chance. Wilt Chamberlain Theres no question that Wilt the Stilts accomplishments are directly related to his incredible size. Yet for much of his life he was regarded as a freak of nature. As a high school freshman, he was already 611 and entered the NBA at 7'1" and 250 pounds, an absolute behemoth. Unpopular wherever he went, teams began to tripleteam him and commit so many egregious fouls against him that he worried he would endure one too many and kick someones ass. For many years, Wilt Chamberlain carried his team on his back, setting scoring records that have yet to be topped. He failed, however, to win a championship until he changed the focus of his game and began to use his skills not to pad his own stats but to get the most out of his teammates. The result was swift: His first NBA championship. Lesson: Embrace your superior skills and use them to elevate those around you No man is an island, and even the most confident alpha males learn this eventually. Napoleons appointed marshals were brilliant military men. More often than not, George Steinbrenner has been wise enough to rely on his executives. The point is that your skills and talents have a greater chance of serving your goals if they arent focused directly on your achievements. Redirecting those talents to elevate those around you will almost always better serve your aims. Hugh Hefner Hugh Hefner has always been a staunch libertarian and has consistently opposed laws or restrictions on sexuality. These views may or may not have been ahead of their time, but his confidence and arrogance in expressing them in public certainly was. A high school essay of his attacked Americas puritanism, and a grad school term paper praised the recently released Kinsey Report "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male.

Lesson: Personal convictions dont mean personal restrictions Living life according to your own beliefs and convictions is one thing, but putting that to your advantage and using it as a guide to your success, quite another. Personal beliefs are sometimes regarded as restrictive. Hefners decision to launch a magazine promoting his beliefs exhibited a capacity for putting them to work and obtaining results, as opposed to passively sitting behind them. Douglas MacArthur MacArthur had a long association with the Philippines, including three separate tours of duty prior to World War II. In 1941, he was made Allied commander in the Philippines and when the Japanese invaded the islands, he managed to hold them off for only so long, retreating onto the Bataan Peninsula before Roosevelt insisted he flee to Australia. The army surrendered to the Japanese shortly thereafter, suffering horribly as POWs. From Australia, MacArthur vowed, I came out of Bataan and I shall return. He never lost sight of this promise, triumphantly fulfilling it three years later. Not only did he reclaim the entire Commonwealth, he would enjoy the ultimate revenge in 1945, when he personally accepted Japanese surrender aboard the USS Missouri. Lesson: When you give your word, always deliver on it There are few more unappealing traits than being all talk and no action. People come to regard people with this habit as unreliable and impotent, and begin to look past them when they need a go-to guy. While you should never promise to deliver the impossible, you should also never fail to deliver on your promises. John Wayne The Duke was such an American icon that when Japanese Emperor Hirohito visited the U.S. in the 1970s, he asked to meet him. Despite never technically serving in the military, countless men enlisted for service having been inspired by his rugged tough-guy image. It was a persona Wayne was interested in maintaining as he got older, insisting that his characters never do anything ignoble, such as shoot a man in the back. The result was a man with a powerful presence, and part of this presence arose from something simple, something many of us take for granted: posture. He never slouched or hung his chin, his back was straight, his shoulders cocked and wide. It wasnt something he overdid, just something he did. The wider result was an imposing presence that commanded respect. Lesson: Dont underestimate the power of presence Not everyone can be an iconic 64 movie star known for his ass-kicking prowess, but you can learn from the manner in which Wayne carried himself.

Through body language and demeanor alone, Wayne was always the baddest man in the room. People read body language both consciously and subconsciously, and few unspoken things can make people lose confidence in you quicker than seeing you slouch at a meeting or give a presentation with hunched shoulders. Such displays of indifference breeds more indifference, while the perception of strength breeds respect and power.

Use inviting body language Body language can be natural, incidental or deliberate, but in any case, it is often the easiest language to read and understand. Before saying anything verbally, you have the opportunity to break the ice with body language to give others the visual indication that youre a friendly, inviting person. This kind of body language includes simple things, like an appropriate smile, and not closing yourself off with crossed arms or the low rumble of a scowl. Another way to seem more friendly when trying to start a conversation includes modulating your tone of voice and the pace at which you speak; a relaxed, self-confident voice is far more inviting than speaking quickly as though in a nervous panic, releasing a bored sigh or saying your initial hello in a dull, disinterested tone. That being said, people often appear standoffish; your job is to figure out whether or not they actually mean it. You may find out the hard way that they do mean it or you could unlock another persons shyness by challenging their seemingly defiant body language.

step 2
Open with an open-ended question Well never know how many potentially great conversations began with the question How are you? because they were dead from that moment on, typically brought to a quick end with the answer, Fine. They die for a very simple reason: They started on the wrong foot. Questions that are very familiar to us elicit our most common responses. They make no demands on us to pause long enough to think about an answer; instead, we respond like a reflex. If you doubt us, ask yourself how many times youve been asked a question like How are you? and actually considered it? Thus, at this step, your aim should be to pose a question that elicits a response longer than one or two words. What you ask may depend to some degree on your level of familiarity with the person youre talking to -- something to keep in mind while reading the following examples: "What was the best part of your weekend?" beats, Did you have a good weekend? What are your experiences living in this area? beats, How long have you lived around here?

Tell me about your wife and your family beats, Are you married?

step 3
Reword their answer into a new question Good storytellers are not the same as good conversationalists. Storytellers monopolize a conversation, which can be either good or bad, while good conversationalists listen to others when they speak and ask the right questions when the opportunity arises. To that end, you can keep this conversation rolling not by changing the subject or asking a new follow-up question. Rather, do so by rewording their answer into a new question, even if you know that youre not really saying anything new. It wont appear that way; instead, you give the impression that youre listening, that you empathize and that you have a general rapport with this person -- all key aspects of a good conversationalist. By doing so, you preempt the inclination to respond with unsolicited advice or a one-up story (things that can kill a conversation quickly), and you will allow the other person to delve deeper into the topic.

step 4
Pass on control of the conversation Up until now, you have attempted to steer and control the conversation without appearing overeager. At this point, you should have positioned the other person as the primary talker in the conversation and yourself as the listener. The wider benefit of this positioning is fairly simple: That person will more likely recall the conversation as an enjoyable one if they did more of the talking. Human Nature 101 teaches us that, whether were fully aware of it or not, we are our own favorite topic. Coming in at a close second is whatever other topic we

happen to be discussing at the moment.

step 1
Spruce up your appearance Go beyond simply being presentable. Take the necessary steps to make yourself feel like you look completely tip-top for the occasion -- and leave no room for feeling self-conscious about something, such as pit odor, that could throw you off. Situations that demand you to project confidence are never the best times to take chances with how you look. This is an instance in which the odds are not justified by the potential payoff. Confidence does not overtly draw attention to itself, but this is precisely what would happen if you gamble on your appearance. What happens if someone asks, Is that a new shirt? or Where did you get those shoes? You answer them and expect a follow-up compliment on their part, but you dont get it.

Suddenly youre left questioning your outfit, and it is precisely this kind of selfconscious questioning that saps you of your confidence. Bottom line: Craft your appearance so that, once you leave home, you never think about it again and are able to fully project confidence.

step 2
Keep your hands below "the line" How many people project confidence while they incessantly fidget? This is the kind of superfluous behavior that draws negative attention to you. To keep this unstrung fidgeting to a minimum, establish an invisible line somewhere around your torso and keep your hands below it. The line shouldn't be so low that you have to act unnatural; the point is to prevent yourself from touching your face, fiddling with your tie or exhibiting other evidence of nervousness. Be careful not to become too preoccupied with remaining vigilant about this line. The point is to appear relaxed and unaffected, not rigid or self-conscious. If you typically have problems with fidgeting, practice your line exercise in situations that dont require you to project confidence, like around your friends. If it means folding your hands together, do it -- unless it feels emasculating. Bottom line: Keeping your hands tied down contributes to a calm, cool and collected poise -- which can also help tie down your language so that you dont clutter it with the likes of uh and um. Establish a focal point Making eye contact is an excellent way to project confidence, but you might be uncomfortable doing so. When you speak or listen to another person, choose a spot on their face to focus on, somewhere near their eyes. You want to mimic looking in their eyes and appear to do it with consistency, without actually doing so. This point can be the eyebrows or between the eyes. We all know that an inability to look someone in the eye projects a variety of negative responses -- namely distrust -- and we also know that looking someone too intensely in the eye can inspire a bit of creepiness. You want to strike a balance between being unafraid to look others square in the eye and being aware that overdoing it will garner absolutely no favors. Bottom line: Our eyes transmit myriad emotions and intentions, sometimes when were not aware of it. The goal here is to try to control those transmissions.

step 4
Stand by what you say As soon as you make a declaration, internally resolve to stand by it. In other words, when the period appears at the end of your statement, cut yourself off from making any additions, amendments, corrections, or qualifying conditions. Self-assured

people project confidence when their statements are said with conviction. There is a fine line between conviction and stubbornness, so this shouldnt be taken to mean that you will defend whatever you say to the death. There are plenty of virtues in keeping an open mind, however, few things can eliminate our efforts to project confidence like waffling on the things we say, whether through backtracking, succumbing to outside disagreements, or simply buckling to your own lack of confidence. After speaking, you do not want to start humming and hawing and appearing generally indecisive, unless your goal is to rob yourself of credibility. In that case, congratulations -- youve achieved that dubious goal.

Apperance

ou can buy the best suits and accessories, however, if you don't take care of yourself first then you're only making that expensive wardrobe look -- and smell -- cheap. Every man must have a rudimentary grooming regime that keeps his general health in good stead. Yet, perhaps more important than personal health and well-being is the notion that, once upon a time, men -- real men -- used tonics, lotions, soaps, and creams to make themselves more attractive to women. And it worked! So, here then is a sample of the guidelines found in AskMen.coms Style Bible that will keep you in the game. Practice the basics of hygiene When it comes to extraneous hair, schedule time to trim your nose hairs and other body hair. Keep regular barber appointments (about once every four to six weeks) to keep yourself from becoming lazy with your hairstyle. Buy a mens nail kit and don't forget the regular upkeep: You dont need anything fancy, just basic tools to keep all of your nails clean and short. Skipping a shower is simply not allowed. The importance of a second shower before going anywhere in the evening should never be forgotten. All of those workouts mean nothing to her if your body and hair smell bad. Learn how to get a proper shave Foam and a simple blade might work well enough when youve spent the night in an international departure lounge, but you have to get more involved if you expect to have a healthy looking mug in the long run. Begin with a traditional pre-shave ritual of a hot towel if you cant cleanse and exfoliate properly. Next, apply a natural and organic pre-shave oil. This is very important if you use an electric shaver to raise your whiskers away from your skins surface. The real secret to a perfect shave is in the quality of foam or cream you use. Avoid cheap products with chemical additives. Youre removing a thin layer of skin when you shave with a blade and the last thing you want against the new, fresh skin underneath is an astringent chemical. If you prefer an electric shaver, which many men choose in order to avoid water usage, convenience or to save their face from the ravages of blades, youll want to clean and oil your shaver regularly.

Afterward, regardless of blade or electric shaving, you must apply a balm to help hydrate your face. The best have aloe along with vitamins, minerals and a simple SPF to protect you all day. Take care of your face Yes, gentlemen, they actually play an important role by keeping your face and skin healthy. Modern men cannot live by soap and water alone lest you end up with cracked and broken skin. They might be called mens cosmetics but the following three items form the foundation of healthy grooming: cleansers, toners and moisturizers. A cleanser will go beyond simple soap and remove the dirt and grime that build up in your pores during a hard day. A toner tightens your skin making it tougher for the elements to penetrate, while a moisturizer keeps your skin hydrated. Dry, cracking skin allows germs and dirt into your body (Is that what you want? Didnt think so). Clean, taught and hydrated skin is your first line of defense against the outside world -- and also far more attractive to women. Are you getting the point here? Exfoliate for better looking skin Help your skin rejuvenate itself by removing dead skin cells and debris with an exfoliating cleanser. You dont have to do this everyday -- a few times a week will do the trick. For deep exfoliation, you could use an exfoliating mask that goes on soft and hardens while soaking up the debris on your skin or a pumice soap. You might also consider a granular exfoliating face cleanser that you can apply in the shower and rinse clean every other day. Choose the right cologne AskMen.com always has the best and latest on mens colognes, but choosing the right cologne may take a little time. First, consider your skin type. Oily skin reacts adversely with stronger patchouli and musk aromas yet mixes well with floral- and citrus-based scents. Dry skin, however, does not hold a cologne as long, which makes it perfect for the hefty tobacco, musk and patchouli colognes popular today. If you have sensitive skin you should avoid the less expensive mass-produced colognes that contain additives. Stay with organic producers with heavier scents fit for dry skin tones. No matter which type is best for you, you will have to avoid the impulse buy as you rush through a store. The best way to buy a new cologne is to read the latest on AskMen.coms fashion pages before you go shopping. Once at the store, try a sample on your wrist early in the day. Live with the scent for a while. Have a coffee and see how it is matures with your natural skin scent. If all goes well then you should buy it.

grooming 101
Presenting yourself to the world each day begins with proper grooming. The AM Style Bible includes more information and helpful tips for using an electric razor, how to wear your new cologne, using a classic shaving soap and brush, as well as lip

care, removing body hair and the many benefits derived from the optical illusion of going bare down there. You could wait for your significant other to watch Oprah and come home with a pile of items from the pharmacy to slap you into shape -- or, you could stick with AM and look your best today.