Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Written By:
Jack Thomas
First Draft:
6.27.01
Second draft:
7.5.01
Final Draft:
7.10.01
TIMMY
Awright! The weekend! No school, no Vicky
baby-sitting, just a nice fun weekend with
my parents!
CUT TO:
Timmy stands in the doorway while MOM and DAD pack a SUITCASE. There
seem to be a lot of BEACH ITEMS getting packed. SWIMSUITS, TOWELS, FINS,
etc.
TIMMY
(immediate) You're leaving?!?
DAD
To Oceanside Resort Springs Beach.
DAD
They've got golfing, not business, fishing,
not business, snorkeling, not business, deep
sea not businessing and eight different
restaurants!
TIMMY
Where's the business?
DAD
Well, they've got a copier... That makes
adult beverages!
TIMMY
You're going for the whole weekend?
DAD
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 3
We're all busted up about it too, Son, but
you'll be protected by Vicky!
A PAINTING OF A BOAT hangs on the wall. On the word "Vicky," the boat
sinks. Dads notices the painting.
DAD
I hope our fishing boat… I mean BUSINESS
MEETING… doesn't do THAT.
DISSOLVE TO:
TIMMY
Darn it! Vicky's gonna torture me all
weekend unless we can figure out a way to
get rid of her!
Cosmo conjures up a BEAR holding a big KNIFE and FORK and wearing a
VICKY BIB.
TIMMY
Too messy.
COSMO
Hey! He's wearing a bib!
TIMMY
Come on guys. Think of something!
Something that'll take Vicky a million
million miles from here!
COSMO
I'm on it!
Cosmo flies out the window and into the sky. They're just standing there…
Timmy, Wanda and the bear. Then the bear realizes… IT'S A BEAR!
BEAR
ROAAAR!!!!
CUT TO:
COSMO
One million nine hundred thousand and
one... One million nine hundred thousand
and two...
CUT TO:
MARK CHANG, warrior prince, sits with his two best buds, JEFF and ERIK,
unenthusiastically opening GIFTS as the KING and QUEEN watch.
QUEEN JIPJORRULAC
Happy birthday, Mark!
KING GRIPPULLON.
Open it up, Pal! It's from your Mom and me!
ERIK
Radioactive waste?!
JEFF
That's the most awesome kind of waste
there is!! My parents only got me medical
waste!
MARK
Whatever.
JEFF
Open this next!
ERIK
Tax forms! Those are way hideous!
MARK
It does not matter how horrifyingly bad these
gifts are (holds up VICKY'S PICTURE) Nothing
can fill the hole in my heart left by losing my
one true love, Vicky of Earth!
KING GRIPPULLON.
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 5
Enough! You are next in line to be the evil
ruler of this planet!
QUEEN JIPJORRULAC
Get this Earth girl out of your head and
enjoy your birthday!
King Grippullon and Queen Jipjorrulac storm out as Mark looks longingly at
Vicky's photo.
CUT TO:
The King and Queen exit, oblivious to the fact that Cosmo is now measuring
right to Mark's front door.
COSMO
One million nine hundred ninety nine thousand
nine hundred and ninety nine... One million one
million! Whew!
CUT TO:
SFX: Doorbell (sounds like Close Encounters tones). Mark opens the door to
find Cosmo in a DELIVERY OUTFIT.
COSMO
Federation Express. I have a message for Mark
Chang, from Vicky of Earth.
MARK
Awesome! Give it! Or I shall tear out your still
beating heart and use it to play badminton!
VICKY
Help me, Mark Chang. You're my only hope. I,
like, miss you and stuff! Won't you take me
away from this planet forever and ever and...
MARK
Jeff! Erik! ROAD TRIP!
DISSOLVE TO:
VICKY
(sweetly, to picture)
I know, Timmy! I'm just as excited as you
are that I get to watch you for the whole
weekend!!
Vicky tosses a POWER DRILL and a BALL AND CHAIN into the suitcase.
VICKY
We're going to have so much fun!!! HA! HA!
HA! HA!
With an idling SPACESHIP in the BG, Mark, Jeff and Erik walk to Vicky's door
all packing very cartoony laser pistols.
MARK
Announce our presence!!
Jeff rings the bell. At the sound of the buzzer, all three wheel, point their
guns and blast the doorbell.
JEFF / ERIK
It's an attack! / Get it!
As the smoke clears, Vicky opens the door and sees the three CLEARLY ALIEN
LIFE FORMS standing in her doorway.
VICKY
You! I remember you! You're Timmy's geek
friend from Europe with the stupid alien
costume!
MARK
"Exactamundo!"
VICKY
What? Is there an idiot convention in town?
JEFF
Uh… Uh... SHE'S ON TO US! DO SOMETHING!
Erik hits a BUTTON on his YUGOPOTAMIAN WAR BELT and Vicky gets sprayed
with KNOCK OUT GAS.
VICKY
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 7
(coughs) Is this some sort of French
perfume? 'M sleepy...
JEFF
Now what? Dissection?
MARK
No! We shall take her with us! But we must
make sure she's not missed by the Earth
authorities.
DISSOLVE TO:
Timmy sits on the SOFA, watching Mom and Dad pack. Wanda is near him as
a WANDA VASE.
DAD
Boogie boards. (off Timmy's glare)
I mean business boogie boards.
WANDA
Where have you been?
COSMO
Wait for it.
We hear the sounds of laser blasts at the door. When Dad finally opens it, he
sees Vicky standing there, CLEARLY ASLEEP, held up by Tentacles. Jeff and
Mark - standing behind Vicky - use her like a ventriloquist's dummy. They're
not very good.
MARK (VO)
Uh... hey, Earth guy... I just wanted to let
you know... I have to go to, uh... your... Uh...
Your...
DAD
...Europe?
The aliens use Vicky to shut the door. Timmy high fives Cosmo and runs to
his Dad. Wanda isn't sure she likes this.
TIMMY
No baby-sitter means you guys can't go on
your "business" trip now!
DAD
Well, you'd think that, Son, but when it
comes to the safety and welfare of our
business trip, we always have a plan B!
DISSOLVE TO:
Timmy now stands inside FLAPPY BOB'S, holding Cosmo and Wanda as
LUGGAGE. Timmy's parents drive away into the distance.
TIMMY
Flappy Bob's PeppyHappy Camp Learn-a-
torium? That's plan B?
There are SIGNS in goofy lettering. "Sneaking Education Into Kids Since
1997" "Spontaneity Free Zone Ahead." The place is lousy with planned
wackiness. Weird GIZMOS, GAMES and flashing LIGHTS everywhere.
WANDA
Well, it could be worse.
Timmy walks over to a BALL PIT. He is about to pick up a BALL, when two overly
enthusiastic TEENS - BETTY AND GARY - intercept him.
BETTY
Whoa there, special guest! You can't just
dive head first into the PeppyHappy ball pit!
GARY
And we're going to explain why... In Song!
BETTY (SINGING)
I'm peppy Happy Betty!
BETTY (SINGING)
Ask Peppy Happy Gary!
GARY (SINGING)
That ball pit's kind of scary!
TIMMY
Am I having fun yet?
DISSOLVE TO:
The SPACE SHIP lands. Mark, Jeff and Erik walk down the steps holding the
semi-conscious Vicky.
MARK
Beloved, semi-conscious Vicky! Behold
Yugopotamia! Most feared planet in the
galaxy!
VICKY
(Dazed) Can I have a cookie?
MARK
Do you not see why I love her? She is
unafraid of one of the most lethal of all
poisons found on our planet. She rocks!
Now I must fetch her the deadly...cookie!!
VICKY
Hey! What? Where am I??
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 10
JEFF / ERIK
You're...uh...you're, uh...
VICKY
Well?
Jeff hits his belt and blasts Vicky with a death ray! She's vaporized!
Erik hits a button on his belt. Vicky is re-integrated and back to normal.
JEFF
Sorry.
Jeff hits his button again and sprays Vicky with knock-out gas again. She
instantly passes out.
VICKY
...I don't wanna be a ballerina...
She falls into their arms just as Mark returns, wearing a RADIATION SUIT,
holding a big COOKIE in gigantic TONGS. Various YUGOPOTAMIANS mull
about behind them.
MARK
Behold! The chewy-soft goodness of a
freshly baked cookie!
YUGOPATAMIANS
AAAAAAA!!!!
Citizens in the space port run screaming in terror. Mark notices the sleeping
Vicky.
JEFF / ERIK
Jet lag. / Rabies.
Timmy walks away from Betty and Gary, but they keep singing at him,
throwing PILLOWS around him as he walks.
TIMMY
Finally! Something mindless and violent I'm
totally excellent at!
GARY
Stop! You must learn!
TIMMY
How to smack?
BETTY
No, silly willy walnut head! About that mole!! And how
it feels about being smacked!
Gary and Betty happily clap twice. The lights dim, and the entire smack a
mole game turns into a TV SET that starts the black and white show-- "The
Mole: An Endangered Species." CHET UBETCHA appears, wearing a big, fuzzy
MOLE SUIT.
CHET UBETCHA
I'm Chet UBetcha, narrating... The Mole:
Smack Me To Extinction.
DISSOLVE TO:
AT A TABLE - LATER
Timmy - drooling - sits in front of Gary and Betty. Betty hugs a STUFFED
MOLE like it's the cutest thing ever. Cosmo and Wanda are on the table as
soft, fluffy TEDDY BEARS..
BETTY
And that's why smacking is bad... and
cuddling is good! Now -- Who wants
cookies and ice cream?
TIMMY
I do!
GARY
You don't! They're not approved food
groups! Who wants soy cubes?
Betty runs up behind Timmy and raises his hand for him.
BETTY
I do!
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 12
TIMMY
Well... I want to go home!
GARY
You can't! You don't have proper adult
supervision, and you're supposed to stay
here until your baby-sitter returns from
Europe!
TIMMY
But she's never coming back!
BETTY / GARY
Yay! We're going to be friends forever!
TIMMY
(whispered to Cosmo and Wanda) Guys... I
never thought I'd say this, but I wish Vicky
were back.
They wave their wands and the fart noise comes out.
TIMMY
Oh, man! Lemme guess...That alien kid
loves Vicky and…
WANDA
Our magic can't goof up true love.
COSMO
Exactamundo!
TIMMY
I've gotta get Vicky back. I'm going to need
a distraction... (points OS)
Look! A pointy object!
While they're distracted, Timmy runs for the ball pit. They try to stop him but
Timmy makes a dive for it...
TIMMY
I wish we were on Yugopotamia!
POOF! They're gone! OUTSIDE THE PIT, Gary and Betty desperately claw at
the balls.
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 13
GARY
He's gone!
BETTY
We are so fired!
DISSOLVE TO:
Timmy (in CRASH NEBULA GEAR) and Cosmo and Wanda, beam in.
TIMMY
Why am I in my Crash Nebula space suit?
COSMO
It's Spacey and form fitting?
WANDA
You wore it last time you were here!
TIMMY
You think they'll remember me?
YUGOPOTAMIAN MALE
It's Timmy Turner! The Earth warrior who
eats the dreaded chocolate!!!
YUGOPATAMIANS
Slither for your life!!!
YUGOPATAMIANS
(terrified walla)
COSMO
I'd call that a "yes".
PALACE GUARD
We must inform King Grippullon and Queen
Jipjorullac we are being invaded!
CUT TO:
The King and Queen smile as they look at MARK'S BABY PICTURES. Various
YUGOPOTAMIAN PARTY GOERS mill about.
KING
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 14
I remember when Mark was first spawned,
my queen! You never looked more hideous!
QUEEN
They regenerate so fast. Mark was so
disappointed with his gifts, I hope this
surprise birthday party cheers him up!
YUGOPOTAMIAN #1
He's coming! He's coming!
The lights go off. Everybody hides. THE PALACE GUARD runs in.
EVERYBODY IN ROOM
Surprise!
EVERYBODY IN ROOM
(Groans in disappointment)
PALACE GUARD
HORRIBLE NEWS! TIMMY TURNER THE
WARRIOR CHILD FROM EARTH HAS
RETURNED!
KING
GASP!!! An invasion!
QUEEN JIPJORRULAC
We can't let this spoil Mark's birthday!
YUGOPATAMIAN #1
He's coming! He's coming!
EVERYBODY IN ROOM
Surprise! (Beat) AAAAAA!!!!!!!
KING
We left your planet in peace! What do you
want with us!
TIMMY
(pained) I demand the release of the Earth
girl, Vicky!
KING
Vicky? She's here? Mark??
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 15
YUGOPATAMIAN #1
He's coming! He's coming!
Lights off. Everybody hides, including Timmy. Mark, with the dazed and
confused Vicky, enters.
EVERYBODY IN ROOM
AAAAA! (Beat: It's Mark) Surprise!!
The King and Queen walk up to Mark. Mark is holding Vicky's hand as she
flops around like a rag doll.
TIMMY
Surprise.
MARK
No way!
TIMMY
Way.
MARK
No way!
KING
Way.
TIMMY
MATE?!?!?
MARK
It's my birthday, I am a man now, and I will not
relinquish my love! I challenge the Earth punk
to De-Chah-Fat!
TIMMY
I accept. What kind of chocolate- eating,
cookie-crunching, flower- dancing horror is
De-Chah-Fat?
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 16
MARK
I'm sorry, I sneezed. I meant to say Death
Combat.
TIMMY
(croaks out) Excuse me?
PALACE GUARD
You know the rules of De-Chaf-At.
MARK
Geshundheit!
PALACE GUARD
Thank you! Each round lasts 4000
Yugopotamian Hours.
TIMMY
What?
PALACE GUARD
Two of your earth minutes. Each warrior may
choose their own arena of combat. And since it is
Mark's birthday, he may choose first!
MARK
I choose the Yugopotamian war arena!!
The guard stomps his battle AXE on the floor and Timmy, Mark, and the
Guard all "beam" to....
The place looks like the "Thunderdome". The Palace guard stands between
Timmy and Mark, who stand about 50 feet apart, scowling at each other.
PALACE GUARD
Let the battle BEGIN!
MARK
In the name of Vicky, prepare to totally
meet your doom!
TIMMY
I wish you were amazingly cool hi-tech
protective space weapons!!
TIMMY
Bring it on, soap scum!
COSMO
"Alien" scum.
TIMMY
Whatever!
He launches himself at Mark. They meet in mid-air (think subway fight in The
Matrix). Timmy's Wanda gun fires pillows at Mark. They hit...
MARK
AHHH! FEATHERY SOFTNESS!
Mark wipes a FEATHER from the corner of his mouth. They both spin away
from each other.
TIMMY
Pillows?
WANDA
Yugopatamians hate fluffy and nice and
good and sweet!
COSMO
Yeah, Timmy! On this planet you have to
fight fire with fun!
Mark fires glowing PLASMA BULLETS at Timmy which the Cosmo belt
deflects.
IN THE STANDS, Yugopotamians cheer Mark on. Except for Vicky, who is out
cold and drooling on Erik's shoulder.
IN THE ARENA - Timmy shoots FLOWERS at Mark which he ducks as they float
past. Mark keeps moving in and firing. He gets Timmy backed up against the
wall. Several extra BARRELS pop out of his gun. The crowd is up on it's
tentacles. Timmy is cornered!! Nowhere to run!!
MARK
Checkmate, dude!!
SFX: DING!
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 18
PALACE GUARD
That is the end of the first round! (To
Timmy) You may now choose the battle
arena.
TIMMY
Think, Timmy... Think. Fight fire with fun.
They hate good, and nice is icky. Good and
nice combined...
Gary and Betty have their BAGS packed as KIDS mill about.
GARY
So, here's the deal. We send these kids
home and then?
BETTY
We're in Mexico before anybody figures out
the ball pit ate a child.
GARY
Exactamundo!!
FWASH!!! Timmy and Mark appear in the ball pit, ready for round two.
GARY
I'll take credit for finding him. You unpack
and keep that squid moist.
Mark and Timmy face off, but Mark is distracted by the happy peppy
surroundings.
MARK
Those colors! Those animals... aagh! It's all
so fuzzy and nice!
Timmy drops Wanda, and reaches into a nearby JAR of something that looks
like it could be candy.
MARK
No, not jelly beans!
TIMMY
No! FAT FREE SOY BEANS!
MARK
AAAAA! WAY TOO HEALTHY!!!!
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 19
Timmy throws them as though they were grenades. Mark dodges,
and lands in the arms of a STUFFED POLAR BEAR.
POLAR BEAR
I'm Pete, the Polar Bear! Can you save me
from extinction?
MARK
AAA!
BETTY / GARY
Stop! This is not an approved activity!
KIDS
HA! HA! HA!
MARK
The laughter of children! I cannot take the
laughter of children!
MARK
Dude. No. Please!
TIMMY
Now... Cuddle the Mole!!!
MARK
I CANNOT CUDDLE THE MOLE! I
SURRENDER! YOU WIN THE DE-CHAF-AT!
MARK
Yeah.
Suddenly, The King, Queen, Jeff, Erik and the dazed Vicky beam in. The King
and Queen see all the kids and freak.
KING
Earth child, once again you have won fair
and square. Here. Take your woman and
kindly slay our son.
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 20
VICKY
…Tuesday is applesauce day…
Vicky staggers over to Timmy. Timmy SHOULD catch her, but lets her drop
like a sack of lead. Timmy walks up to the clearly crushed Mark.
TIMMY
Hey, Man... She's not my woman! She's my
baby sitter! And once I'm 16, you can have
her back for good!
MARK
Six years? That's like a gabillion Yugopotamian
hours. This birthday stinks.
TIMMY
Well... I do feel bad about spoiling your big
day so I will give you two gifts! One, I will
spare your life!
MARK
Awesome!
TIMMY
And two...
DISSOLVE TO:
JEFF
Dude, that Earth kid isn't so bad.
ERIK
Yeah, check out his present!
The smack-a-mole game starts. Gary and Betty, still frozen, pop out of the
holes. Erik and Jeff smack them with FOAM MALLETS. Mark looks out the
porthole at a receding Earth.
MARK
Foolish human! When I'm done with this
combat training device, I will return for
Vicky, yet again!
MARK
The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01 21
Niceness! Run!!!!
DISSOLVE TO:
Timmy, normally dressed, and Cosmo and Wanda, as goldfish, sit next to the
still-dazed Vicky on the couch.
TIMMY
Well, Mark's gone, Vicky's back and baby-
sitting, I'm not in happy town anymore and
everything's right in the world!
COSMO
And you're not dead!
VICKY
I... Uh... HEY! Where am I? What am I doing
here? And why aren't you miserable? YOU'D
BETTER...
Timmy hits a button on his belt. PSST! Knock out gas. Vicky drops. And on
Timmy smiling, we...
IRIS OUT