HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

BY: DALE CARNEGIE PRESENTED BY: LEILA ERTEL

Overview of Presentation
Background Information Cultural Influence Parts I-IV of the book Connections with Public Policy My Thoughts Dale Carnegie Courses

Background Information
November 24, 1888 - November 1, 1955 Born poor then became a teacher Moved to sales Wrote How to Win& 6 more Began D.C. courses

Died of Hodgkins Disease

Overview of How to Win

First modern self-help book NYT best seller list 15 million copies It provides advice on:

-dealing with others -gaining influence -becoming successful -motivating others Seeing relationships as ends themselves instead of a means to an end! Requires sincerity

Influence on our Culture

Everclear
Screeching Weasel Terrorvision The Dwarves One of Charles Mansons favorite books

Featured in Roman Polanskis The

Ninth Gate

Part I: Fundamental Techniques

If you want to gather honey dont kick over

the beehive. -Effects of criticism - Instead try positive reinforcement -Ex. of pilot Give others honest & sincere appreciation -Feeling of Importance -John Dewey Arouse in others an eager want -People are interested in their own wants -Ex. Charity

Part II: 6 Ways

Become genuinely interested in other

people. -people are interested in themselves. -listen -remember key facts Smile -enthusiasm when greeting -smile when on the phone Remember names -favorite word -use with a few personal details

Part II: 6 Ways

Be a good listener

-different from active listening -ask more questions -listen to complaints to ease tensions Talk in terms of the other persons interests. -find out about their interests -ask ?s about their interests Make the other person feel important & appreciated -recognize tangible contributions -avoid flattery

Part III: How to win people to your way of thinking

Begin in a friendly way

-start the conversation with sincere praise. -A pleasant tone of voice can make a big difference! -Ex. Landlord/Eviction Try to honestly see things from the other persons point of view -Ask yourself, why would he/she want to do what I ask? -Where do our opinions on the topic differ? Ex. Boy scouts

Part III: How to win people to your way of thinking

Get the other person to say yes, yes ASAP

-Environment saturated with info. -Emphasize what both parties agree on -momentum of the conversation Appeal to nobler motives -People take actions -one or more -Ex. celebrity photo

Part IV: How to change people

Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly

-Harsh criticism can discourage others -Ex. Ask him/her to consider other points-ofview -Ex. 2- Sales Clerk Ask questions instead of giving direct orders -Effect this has -Ex. Would it make sense to call the client first? What do you think?

Part IV: How to change people

Let the other person save face

-Help others avoid embarrassment -Effect embarrassment has -If you must give criticism, do so in private! - Ex. Demotion/title change

Connection with Public Policy

Sales & Management: Public Policy & Public

Administration

Politics

- Similarities: smile, appear friendly, get others to say yes & let voters know what is in it for them. - Difference- sincerity

Connection with Public Policy

US Foreign Policy

-Soft power-attracting foreign powers with appeal of political ideals or policies that consider the interests of others.Joseph Nye -Similarity- idea coincides with arouse in other people an eager want, make others feel important, do it sincerely, become genuinely interested,etc.

Our Textbooks
T&K- The Art of the Game

- Power- The ability to alter or influence a course of action Carnegie- Winning people to your way of thinking -This can be accomplished through respect, use of suggestion, arousing in others an eager want and other principles learned in the book.

Getting to Yes & Tool Box Module #1

Fisher and Ury (1981) & handout suggest that

a part of principled negotiation is focusing on the interests that are being met. Carnegie suggests the same thing in Principle 3 of Section 1: Arouse in the other person an eager want. Ex- NYC Hotel- Ballroom rental - Advantages & Disadvantages

Use in Negotiation
Carnegie, The only way to get the best of an

argument is to avoid it 1. Welcome disagreements: Separate people from the problem 2. Stay calm: first recognize emotions,theirs and yours 3. Listen first: Listen actively 4. Identify areas of agreement: look for areas of mutual gain. 5. Admit your errors so they can do the same: Try to avoid a contest of will. 6. If no resolution, delay action, think more: one problem is premature judgment.

My Thoughts
Anecdotes Applicability to current issues

Updating
Living by principles in book My work experience

D. Carnegie Courses
Typically have 10-30 participants in a 12 wk.

course. Instructors are graduates of the program who have worked in management positions. Half of each class is devoted to students making presentations from personal experience. The other half is made up of lectures and small grp work. Public speaking, memory techniques, importance of learning names, and conversational techniques are learned.

Criticisms of Courses
Time not well spent

-too much time on student presentations Techniques are manipulative Trains people to promote the course itself, not focused on personal gain -discuss importance of activities -invite friends & family

Questions?