CUSTOMS AND RITUALS OF MALAYSIANS

MALAY

BIRTH

The first child born in a Malay family is given special treatment. After the midwife has washed him he is laid on a specially made bed. This is covered with seven sarongs, usually the best that the parents have. Everyday, one of them is taken away until only a plain sheet is left.

 A Malay woman does not leave the house for forty days after the birth of her child. At the end of this period another ceremony for the child follows. It is called berchukor and means the shaving of his head. Relatives and friends of the family are invited, and a religious man who is often an official from the mosque. He first of all recited a special prayer called berzanji which praises god and the prophet Mohammed. The baby is then brought up to him to be blessed. He smears some paste made of rice and scented water, called tepong tawar, on the baby's forehead and also rubs some gold on it. Then with a pair of scissors he cuts a piece of hair from the child's head. Each of the guests does the same thing. After another prayer, cakes and sweets are served.

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL AND ENGAGEMENT

Traditionally, the relatives of the young man approach the girl's parents and once an agreement is reached the betrothal ceremony will be performed. In fact two are performed, one at the man's house and one at the bride's. She receives at least a gold ring, but usually there are many other presents, too such as cloth, sarongs, soap, scent and so on.

 A small amount of money is given also, as a sign of engageman's parents of their contribution towards the cost of the wedding. This is called the belanja dapor and is usually between $300 and $500. It is put into a silver cup which may be taken in a procession of friends and relatives to the girl's house. Decorations are put up and the bridal bed is specially made up with new sheets, and beautifully decorated with flowers and coloured cloth all round it. In the main room of the house, a platform is built with two chairs placed on it. this is for the bersanding, the ceremonial sitting together. Traditionally, it was the time that the bride and groom first saw each other.

 On the wedding day, parties are held in both the houses concerned after the nikah or marriage contract has been drawn up. It is usual for the groom to move to his bride's house.

 He goes to his new home escorted by a large crowd of friends and relatives. When he reaches the house the bersanding takes place. This is a ceremonial sitting together and Malays consider it good luck if the newly married couple sit down at the same moment. As soon as they are seated the guests come in, each of them smearing a little tepong tawar, the special rice and scented water paste, onto the backs of the couple's hands and foreheads, and throwing a pinch of unlocked yellow rice over them from right to left. When all the guests have done this, there is one more thing for the couple to do. Each Malay house has two staircases, one in front and one at the back of the house. These must be climbed up and down seven times, the groom taking the front staircase and the bride the back one. A week after the wedding, the newly married pair go to the groom's house to pay a formal call on his parents.

DEATH

When a death occurs the village headman should be told and neighbors too. This may be done personally or by a special solemn bedok from the surau. The funeral should take place as soon as possible.

 The body, called in Malay, mayat is prepared for burial in a special way. It is first carefully washed, held in the lap of the chief mourner.

After this, camphorated water is rubbed over it before it is wrapped in a shroud. The face is not covered so that the family may kiss the forehead of the dead person before the body is laid in the coffin. A short prayer is said when the body is put inside the coffin and it is then lifted up and laid across the threshold, partly in a partly outside the house. Another prayer is said and the coffin is then moved a little. This is done three times, a short prayer being said each time. On the third time, the coffin is lifted up and carried down the steps of the house to be placed on a decorated platform, which is usually carried on the shoulders of some of the mourners, and taken to the cemetery.

 The body is buried lying directly on its right side on the ground whiile the coffin is placed over it acting as a cover.
When the grave is filled in, a prayer called talkin is said and the dead person is referred to as the child of his or her mother and not father. Three days after the funeral a small feast is held at the house for relatives and close friends, another on the seventh day, twentieth day, fortieth day and finally on the hundredth day. After this, the death will be commemorated on the anniversary.

SEVENTH MONTH OF PREGNANCY

The term lenggang perut (rocking the abdomen) or kirim perut as it is known in the greater part of the Malay peninsula. The term denotes the ceremonies carried out for a prospective mother who has completed her seventh month of pregnancy. A midwife( bidan) who has been identified as a suitable one, is called upon to examine the mother-to-be, and when it is ascertained that she has in fact competed her seventh month of pregnancy, the midwife is then officially engaged (ditempah) to perform the forthcoming delivery.

 Ideally, parents of the expectant couple meet together to select a day for melenggang perut also called "kirim perut". The preferred days are Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, considered auspicious to Malay culture to ensure a smooth birth.

Materials for lenggang perut

seven pieces of cloths of different colours,

a coconut,
a live chicken, 3 strands of cords, an egg, tepung tawar, beras kunyit, a small mirror

Cleansing
The bidan begins by saying mantras and trims the mothers hair. ( So that the newborn will not be hairy ) Then she smears tepung tawar and beras kunyit to the mother's face.

Next, the mother undergoes a ritual bath. Lime and the bark of sintuk are added to water in a container called buyung. The mother wears a sarong to cover her body, sits on a chair with the chicken tied to it. The bidan puts an egg on her tummy and pours water on her. During the bathe, the mother lets the egg fall and breaks it, to symbolize easy birth. Then the mother looks at herself in the small mirror, this is said to give her baby good looks. The mother now puts on nice clothes, ready for the major event.

 The bidan has spread and piled the seven pieces of cloths on the floor. The mother lays on the cloths to let the bidan massage her bulging belly withcoconut oil. After that, the bidan takes a cleaned coconut and rolls it gently on her belly and towards her toes seven times.
Then the mother kicks the coconut towards the wall...it's time to guess the gender of the baby. It is believed if the "eyes" of the coconut turn upwards when the coconut stops rolling, the baby will be a boy and vice versa. The bidan proceeds to pull the cloth underneath, piece by piece, with both hands swinging her belly a little before pulling it out. She repeats this act seven times until all the cloths are pulled out, thus completes the melenggang perut.