The 8 th

Habit
A Self Empowerment
Workshop
 Objective

The purpose of this workshop is to give

you a road map that will lead you from
pain and frustration to,true fulfillment
Authentic Significanceand
,power
.contribution

To Greatness
 Outline
Introduction: Chapters 1_____3. 1
.Chapter 1: briefly touches on the painful reality
.Chapter 2: Identifies the core problem
.Chapter 3: Provides an overview of the 8th Habit solution

.2 Solution

Discover your Voice Express your voice

Chapters 4 Chapter 5
 Pain Problem solution

Understand Fundamental
Recognize
the fundamental break with
your pain
Problem causing old ways of
.the pain thinking

he best and often the only way to break through pain

lasting solution is to first understand the fundamenta
problem causing the pain
he solution to the problem is like most significant bre
roughs in human history – it comes from a fundament
reak with old ways of thinking
The Pain
 “I’m stuck in a rut”“ I’m frustrated and discouraged

“I have no life. I’m burned out – exhausted”

“I’m not making enough to make ends meet. I never

seem to get ahead.”

“I’m not making a difference”

“I’m bored – just putting in my time. Most of my satisfactions

come off the job.”

“I don’t feel especially needed – not at work, not by my teenag

and grown children, not by my spouse.”

“There’s no good anymore in this world, nobody really cares.”

“I’m not really loved, I am just being used.”
“ I feel empty inside. Life lacks meaning; something’
missing.”

“With a spouse who doesn’t understand and kids who

don’t listen or obey, home is no better than work.”

“I can’t change things.”

“I’m lonely.” “ my life is very dry.”

“ I feel like I am a failure. Can’t make my husband

happy, can’t make my kids happy, can’t make my
boss happy.”
 “ I feel helpless.”

“I am angry. I am scared. I can't afford to lose my job.

“I am tired and sick of all the backstabbing

and kissing up.”

“I’m angry at the world and can’t do nothing about it.

“ No one really values or appreciates me.”

“I’m stressed out, everything is urgent.”

 Understanding
The Core Problem
How do you usually try to understand the problem when it arise
?that is if you admit it exits in the first place

?What is our first response once we admit there is a problem

?To solve it Usually yes

? Do we seek an in-depth understanding of the problem

Usually No

?If we try to understand the problem, how do we do that

?Think
?Listen to others experiences and opinions on a similar problem
?Use wide spread notions of the problem
?Research literature on the problem

?Ask experts for help in understanding

Do we usually take the quickest available interpretation or
?understanding of the problem

?Why
.To avoid pain as soon as we can

?What are the consequences if we misunderstand a problem

(Wrong solution (decision

Continuation of pain
 The Problem

To understand the core problem we

must look first at the context of history
namely, the five ages of civilizations voic
voi
 Will out produce the
industrial age 50 times
or even more

Productivity goes up 50
times over the family
.farm

Yield is 50
times greater
Moving from one civilization voice to
another always necessitated

completely new skill-set. 1

completely new tool-set. 2
new mind-set. 3 (the most important(
 The Thing Mind-Set of The Industrial Age

Main assets and primary drivers of economic prosper

machines & Capital = things

?What are people’s value in such an age

.Necessary but replaceable
.Needed for their able bodies that would comply with strict procedure

hen all you want is a person’s body and you don’t rea
want their mind, heart or spirit, you have reduced a
erson to a thing
What happens when you treat people like things today

,It insults and alienates them, depersonalizes work

.and creates low trust

What happens when you treat your teenage children

like things

It, too, insults and alienates, depersonalizes precious

family relationships and creates low trust, contention
.and rebellion
 codependency
dependency is the natural result of the Industrial Age
aradigm

When people are managed like things they

. stop believing that leadership can become a choice.

think leadership is a position. 2

consent, perhaps unconsciously, to being controlled. 3

.like a thing
don’t take initiative to act, instead wait to be told. 4
what to do

don’t act independently. 5

 .don’t take responsibility. 6

In this codependent culture both leaders and followe

confirm their roles in an unconscious pact. They
disempower themselves by believing that others mus
. change before their own circumstances can improve
The same cycle reappears in families between parent
.and children and also between spouses

Now it’s time to watch Max & Max

 The problems and pain that are the
consequences of this Industrial age
management mind-set is becoming
much more acute because of the
changes that are taking place in
the world. These problems fall
:into different levels

At the Organizational Level. 1

It suppresses human talent and voice. A lot of People
at such organizations who are bright, talented, creative
feel straitjacketed, undervalued and uninspired. They
are frustrated and don’t believe they have the power to
.change things
 2. At the Relationship Level:
Creates co-dependency which in turn produces lack of trust,
nd lack of skill at working out differences. What makes the
roblem even worse is the fact that so many people have
problem
een raised being compared to others at home and competin
been
gainst others in school, in athletics and in the workplace.
hese powerful influences cultivate a scarcity mentality, so
hat many people have a hard time being genuinely happy
or the successes of others.
‫مثال سلوك الناس في ألفراح‬
Win lose mind-set

Because your success means my failure

 We suffer not because we cannot solve our
problems, but because we cannot see our
.problems
What makes it difficult for us to see our problems?

The patterns of thinking ( Paradigm) that created th

problem is used to solve it. Could this work?never

?What do we need to do then

We need to work on paradigms

 ?What is a paradigm

, This word stems from the Greek word paradeigma

:commonly used to mean

Perception assumption theory lens

Frame of reference

.through which you view the world

.It’s like a map of a territory or city
?What happens if the map is inaccurate
It will make no difference how hard you try to find your
.destination or how positively you think
.You’ll stay lost
 Example

?How did they attempt to heal people in the middle ages

bloodletting

?What was the paradigm then

.The bad stuff is in the blood. Get it out

? If you don’t question this Paradigm, what would you do

(Do more, do it faster, do it more painlessly et

 Can you imagine what happened when it was
discovered that the germ is the primary cause of
?disease
A lot was explained through this discovery and thus a way
.to handle the challenges of such discovery were worked at

.The bad stuff is in the blood. Get it out

Inaccurate map

.Germ is the primary cause of disease

Accurate map
?What is the problem of paradigms

.Paradigms, like traditions, die hard

Flawed paradigms go on for centuries after a better one is
.discovered
.Ex: The resort to magic to solve problems
?Can you give more examples
The superiority of the male over the female
 The Whole Person Paradigm is The Answer

As opposed to the Industrial Age “Thing” Paradigm is

The Whole Person Paradigm that corresponds to the
needs of people 4
 People’s Responses to Both Paradigms

WP paradigm

WP paradigm

Whole Person
paradigm

(Old Paradigm (thing

(Old paradigm (thing

(Old Paradigm (thing

 you neglect any one of the four parts of human natur
u turn a person into a thing, and what do you do with
ings? You have to control, manage and carrot-and-stic
hem in order to motivate them
 The Solution

A. Find Your Voice

the path to mediocrity
straightjackets human
potential. The path
to greatness unleashes
. human potential
The path to mediocrity
is the quick fix, short
.cut approach to life
The path to greatness
is a process to
sequential growth
.from the inside out

Travelers on the lower path to mediocrity live out the cultural software of
.ego, indulgence, scarcity, comparison, competitiveness and victimisim

Travelers on the upper path to greatness rise above negative cultural

influences and choose to become the creative force of their lives. Those on
.this path find their voice and inspire others to find theirs. The rest never do
Discover Your Voice

Unopened
Birth Gifts
 There are so many gifts

,Still unopened from your birthday

There are so many hand-crafted

presents

.That have been sent to you by God

The Beloved does not mind

, repeating

.”Everything I have is also yours“

,There are so many gifts, my dear

Hafiz
. Still unopened from your birthday
The great Sufi Master
Our First Birth Gift

The Freedom
To Choose
 Size depends on

Genetic inheritance. 1 Upbringing & present. 2

circumstances
Key point
.It is the use of that space that stretches it

Failing to notice that we have this space kills our ability to change
 :Remember

ny time your emotional life is a function of someone else’s. 1

eakness, you disempower yourself and empower those
eaknesses to continue to mess your life up. Again yesterday
r circumstances & others( hold your tomorrow hostage (

Using this space wisely we enlarge our freedoms and keep. 2

.ourselves constantly growing, learning, and contributing
Eventually our exercise of that power will enlarge the response
until the very nature of your responses will begin to shape the
. Stimuli

We are not merely the product of our past or our gene

We are not the product of how other people treat us
It is true we do not choose our genes, but we choose
how to respond to them
One ship drives east and another drives west
.With self same winds that blow
,Tis the set of the sails‘
,And not the gales
.That tells us the way to go

;Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate

,As we voyage along through life
Tis the set of the soul‘
,That decides its goal
.And not the calm or the strife

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

 Our Second Birth Gift

Natural Laws or Principals

What does the wise use of the space between stimulu
?and response mean

?Where is wisdom

Wisdom means to live by principals or

natural laws rather than to live by today
.culture of quick fix
:Natural laws or principles are

a. Timeless b. inarguable= Self-evident

s el p max E
s el p max E

kindness You can never have

enduring trust without
respect .Trustworthiness
honesty

integrity
Those natural laws or principals are the source
off the curious idea human beings have that the
ought to behave in a certain way and cannot
really get rid of
 Natural Authority

Natural Laws
‫القوانين الطبيعية‬

Gravity

Stamp of nature

Freedom and power of choice

Stamp of human
beings
 Moral Authority

The principled used of our freedom and power

.choose

Principles ‫المباديء‬ values ‫القيم‬

Natural laws Social norms

impersonal, factual, objective ( , Personal, emotional(

(and self-evident (subjective and arguable
 .Consequences are governed by principles

.Behavior is governed by values

:Therefore
!Value principles

Values control behavior, principles control the

. consequences of behavior

:Moral authority requires

.The sacrifice of short-term selfish interests. 1
.Courage in subordinating social values to principles
 After watching Law of The Harvest

All lasting results are produced in a sequence, are *

governed by principles and are grown from the inside
. out

This is true of human nature. There is a “Law of the *

harvest” that governs human character, human
greatness and all human relationships. And it stands
in stark contrast to our culture of quick-fix, victimism
.and blame
 Our Third Birth Gift

The Four Intelligences

Capacities of Our Nature
 linguistic spatial
mathematical

et nI Existential
r

Intra
sr ep

pers
onal
l ano

B
do
yliK
ni
se
eht
ci t
What will developing and using these
?intelligences instill within you
Quiet confidence. 1
Internal strength and security. 2

Ability to be simultaneously courageous and. 3

considerate
Personal moral authority. 4
 If you do the following you can immediately
, Begin leading a more balanced, integrated
.powerful life

- For the body. 1assume you’ve had a heart attack; now live
.accordingly

- For the mind.assume

2 the half-life of your profession is tw
.years; now prepare accordingly
-For the heart., 3
assume everything you say about another
.they can overhear; now speak accordingly

- For the spirit. assume

4 you have a one-on-one visit with
your Creator every quarter; now live
.accordingly
Vision
Discipline

Passion

Conscience
Leading a painful fragmented life (Leading A Powerful Life ( whole Person

Prey vision
Toward Victimisim (Mind(

Conscience
Ego
Soc

(He
Pa
(Spirit(
ial

art
ssi
Mir

(
on

si B(
pi c ( ydo
ror

D
nI
ud
gl
ne

il
en
ec
Vision