Arriving at the Peace

of Chastity:
A Doable Approach to Rational Leadership of Sexual
Desires

Part II
Based on the breakthrough insights of John Paul II’s Theology of
the Body and Fr. T.G. Morrow,s Achieving Chastity in a
Pornographic World. Powerpoint by Dr. Raul Nidoy

Version for males

John Paul II on the essence of
chastity
 Essence of chastity is the quickness to affirm the
value of the person in every situation.

 Answer quickly: What is the value of one person?

 Answer quickly: How do I affirm the value of the
person when I see a beautiful woman?

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part I

 “This body is me”

 I am an embodied person:
an image of God’s beauty and glory
 Respect me.
Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part I
 : I am a person
 I am someone. Not a thing.
 I have an inner world, of experiences and thoughts. I can
tell you about them.
 I am aware of you and I can sacrifice myself out of love
for you, because I am an image of God.
 I carry within me the divine breath of life. I will last
longer than the stars. I am immortal.
 I can talk directly with God himself. I am capable of God!
 I have a divine dignity, an infinite value.
 I have greater value than all the 170 billion galaxies put
together. They were made as a gift for me.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part I

 Person = the Whole (vs. parts)
Her memories Her fashion sense Her medical history
Her thoughts Her sleep Her likes
Her spiritual life Her dislikes
Her feelings Her intelligence
Her convictions
Her values
Her temperament
Her character
Her soul Her emotions Her struggles Her favorite books
Her loves Her sacramental life Her worst nightmare
Her Her diet Her tours
Her community Her relation with her boss
relationship life
Her school life
Her sports interests Her fears
Her relationship with
with friends Her work Her exercise family
Her grades Her most memorable
Her film performance Her imagination moments
Her sexuality Her capacity for work Her social status
interests Her high school Her voting Her financial knowledge
Her science
Her dreams adventures preferences
Her political leanings
Her technological know-
how
Her freedom Her skills Her attitudes Her games
Her art Her favorite TV shows Her personality

Chastity is the capacity to love the person: the whole.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Personalistic norm: The only proper attitude
to a person is love. - JPII
Love
 To want the good of another - Aristotle

 Benevolence (bene-volere), kindness

 To serve another

 To give others importance

 To give myself to the other (self-giving)

 Affection, Attention, Acceptance, Approval, Appreciation

Using people (opposite of love – JPII)

 To treat others as objects for my enjoyment

 To exploit others for my purposes

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part I

Using persons is insane. Evil.

Chastity is controlling the central depths within us where

the utilitarian attitude is born. – John Paul II

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part I

Chastity: a matter of Noes?
 Chastity frees us for love. It is associated with the
virtue, the power of love.
 Only the chaste man and chaste woman are
capable of true love. Chastity frees their
relationship, including marital intercourse, from that
tendency to use a person. – John Paul II
 Trial sex? You can try out a bike, but not a
woman. A person can only be loved with self-
sacrificing love. – Jason Evert

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part I

Love: man finds fulfillment only in
the sincere gift of self
 Only if I own something, can I
give it to someone.

 Chastity: I control and

possess myself so I can give
myself as a worthy gift to God
and others

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Treat women as ladies. They are
persons.

Women are not objects of enjoyment.

They are not things. Not bodies separated from their persons.
They are daughters of God. They are sacred.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part I

4. I must not treat persons as objects even in
the mind, lest I become a user of persons in
practice.
 Never use a
person, even in
thought.

 Love her in your

mind: pray for her.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Watching porn = using people in our mind
for our selfish ends

Everyone who looks at a woman with lust has

already committed adultery with her in his heart
- Jesus
Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II
I am not hurting anyone
 I am hurting myself
 I distort my personal values: my heart
 I view persons as objects
 I become selfish
 I create an addiction similar to heroin addiction
 I am hurting the living God
 And then I hurt others
 I support the porn industry: actors are severely
damaged.
 Research: A factor for hiring prostitutes,
domestic violence, divorce, rape, incest,
sexual predation.

See: US Senate Committee Hearing on Pornography: http://www.obscenitycrimes.org/Senate-Reisman-Layden-Etc.pdf

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Seeing a beautiful woman: quickly affirm the
value of the person
Stimulus mind response

 When I see an attractive woman, I have

developed the habit of saying to myself,
“She’s a person, a child of God,”
immediately to deflate any exploitive
tendency from the start.
“Here is another sign of God’s beauty.
I cannot wait to be united to Him.”
– T. G. Morrow
 Love is wanting the good, the best good:
“Lord, make her Godly.”

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

On seeing provocative women:
pray for their conversion
 Lord, forgive them, save
them, sanctify them.
Each person is worth all the
blood of Christ
– St. Josemaria

We can only redeem the culture

when we begin to treat porn
models as if we love them more
than anything on earth.
– Jason Evert

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Practice: praying for people, praying
for help
 Grant me purity of heart so that I might see
the image of your glory in the beauty of
others, and one day see you face to face. 
 By Christopher West
Source: http://www.christopherwest.com/article1.asp

 Lord, make her Godly. Make me Godly.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Beauty in. Beauty out. Ugly in. Ugly
out.
 Be reminded of God and family through
their images.
 Read about great men and saints. See
wholesome films. Check out film content
through web reviews, e.g. screenit.
 Get rid of all pornographic materials.
 Put an internet filter in your computer. A
free filter is K9. See Annex for links.
5. Happiness lies in my friendship
with God, and unchastity destroys it.
 Man was created for love.
 Only love makes us happy,
because we live to love and to be
loved – Benedict XVI
 To fall in love with God is the
greatest of romances, to seek Him
the greatest adventure, to find Him
the greatest human achievement.
-- St. Augustine

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Friendship is the source of the
greatest pleasures (Thomas Aquinas)

 We are all called to open ourselves to this

friendship with God... speaking to him as
friend speaks to a Friend, the only One who
can make the world both good and happy.
 Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger on St. Josemaria’s life and
message
Source: http://www.opusdei.org/art.php?w=32&p=4761

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Value of goods
Creatures God
 Made from nothing  Deepest happiness
 Provides fleeting delight  Supreme Goodness
 Infinite Beauty and Joy
 All-embracing Love
 Satisfies all the
longings of the human
heart
 Ultimate reality,
sustaining all reality
Lord, by your blood, cross and resurrection, make me choose
you: Deepest Happiness, Infinite Beauty….

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

 Value of Grace = God’s life of
Love

 Grace for just one man is worth more than:

 all the 170 billion galaxies
 all the billions of men
 all the myriads of angels put together

The good of grace given to one man is greater than the good of the whole natural universe – St. Thomas Aquinas

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

God’s passionate love for us
 Key for falling in love: Look at God’s
passionate love for me.
 God loves us more than all the mothers of the
world love their children. – St. Josemaria
 On the Cross, it is God himself who begs the
love of his creature.-- Benedict XVI
 Eucharist: shows us the truth of the love that is
the essence of God. – Benedict XVI.
 For the Son of God became man so that we
might become God. – St. Athanasius (CCC 460)
 Greater love than this no one has, than he who
lays down his life for his friend. -- Jesus
Look at God who is Love.
Love God with all your heart.
 Do you want to accompany Jesus closely, very
closely? Take part in the different scenes of
the gospel, as one more among the people
present. – St. Josemaria

 Substitute good fantasies for bad.– Fr. T.G. Morrow

 Discover mental prayer (contemplation) and its

pleasures.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

6. Unchaste activity brings pleasure, but
also the sadness of selfishness.
 Unchastity is a choice.
 To deliberately lose:
 Self-mastery
 Rational decision-making
 Friendship with God and life of grace
 Reverence for sacred sexuality
 Contact with reality
 Great loss leads to sadness

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Unchastity is desecration of the
sacred.

 Unchastity casts the sacred

into the garbage heap.

 Unchastity will not make

me happy.
 Recall: Scientific findings on sex

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

C. Lewis on masturbation

 it takes an appetite which, in lawful

use, leads the individual out of
himself to complete (and correct)
his own personality in that of
another (and finally in children and
even grandchildren) and turns it
back, sends it back into the
prison of himself, there to keep a
harem of imaginary brides.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Contraceptive sex = telling a lie with
your body
 Body language expresses a meaning
 To smile, but to curse someone

inside, is a lie.
 Contraceptive sex uses the sacred
language of self-giving, but tells a lie:
 “I give you my whole self” [but not my

sacred power to help create a

person].
 Telling a lie leads to sadness.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

 Unchastity Chastity
Sadness of selfishness Glowing happiness

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Truths to remind ourselves of again and again

1. Sex is sacred, not a plaything. It should never be

trivialized.
2. Created in the image of God, I can live by reason, not just
by urges (as the animals do).
3. Persons are to be loved, not merely used as objects of
enjoyment.
4. I must not treat persons as objects, even in the mind, lest I
become a user of persons in practice.
5. Happiness lies in my friendship with God, and unchastity
destroys it.
6. Unchaste activity brings pleasure, but also the sadness of
selfishness.
Memory aid – SR-PM-HS

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Plan of Action: CFD

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

1. Convert desires through reason
 It’s not enough to remind oneself of these values
only when tempted.
A person [who has unchaste habits] needs to
call them to mind several times a day and
really meditate on them.
Why is this effective? We are more attracted to
truth than pleasure. – TG Morrow
 Reflect on the words of Christopher West, T.G.
Morrow, Jason Evert, John Paul II. Use this
powerpoint.
Memory aid – SR-PM-HS

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

The truth shall set you free.
2. Be a friend of Christ

Without me you can do nothing – Truth

 Talk with him – time for silent prayer
 Receive his healing – in Confession, Jesus says “I absolve you”
 Receive him in person – in the Eucharist, he makes us one
with Infinite Love and Beauty.
 Do what he tells you – Mary’s one advice
 Seek his help
St. Augustine: No one can be continent unless you grant it. For you would
surely have granted it if my inner groaning had reached your ears and I with
firm faith had cast my cares on you.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

3. Do what He tells you
 Follow me: practice self-discipline and mortification. Live
a balanced life.
 Avoid occasions of sin (porn, bad influence / put a filter in your
laptop)
 Develop friendship with people who will have a good
influence on you.
 Get a spiritual director, so you can hear my voice more
clearly.
 Love God with all your heart and love
your neighbor as yourself (the great
breakthrough and synthesis – Joseph Ratzinger).

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

We can be chaste!
 Remember John Paul II’s words
of wisdom:

For the promptings of carnal

desires to disappear completely,
a man must know 'why' he is
containing them

 Create the habit: Quickly affirm

the value of the person in
every situation: “This is a
person, a child of God!”
“Lord, make her Godly.”

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Theology of the Body:
A new dawn in the 21st century
 We can reverse the sickening sexual addiction
of society!
 Take an active part in this new beginning. Help in
chastity education. Pass on these truths and
help unmask the lies at the root of many evils.
 Be a part of the New Sexual Revolution.

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

References
 John Paul II, Theology of the Body
 John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio
 Karol Woytyla, Love and Responsibility
 T.G. Morrow, Achieving Chastity in a Pornographic World
 Christopher West, Theology of the Body for Beginners
 Peter Kreeft, Making Choices
 George Weigel, Truth of Catholicism
 Joseph Ratzinger, God and the World
 Joseph Pieper, Four Cardinal Virtues
 Catechism of the Catholic Church

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Links
 http://www.catholiceducation.org/directory/Current_Issues/Sexuality/http://www.christopherwest.c
om/article1.asp
 http://www.christopherwest.com/page.asp?ContentID=82
 http://www.theologyofthebody.net/index.php?
option=com_content&task=blogsection&id=5&Itemid=4
 couragerc.net/PIPMasturbation.htm
 http://www.chastity.com/
 http://iamstrong.org/default.aspx
 http://www.frcblog.com/
 http://frmorrow.home.mindspring.com/
 http://www.cfalive.org/BOOKS.HTM

 Powerpoint by Dr. Raul Nidoy, June 2010

 This is dedicated to my nephews and nieces, all my relatives, my circle of friends, the teachers,
staff, students, parents of Parents Education Foundation, and especially to the Southridge
Afternoon High School. Memory aid – SR-PM-HS

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

You tube links
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=REj1rhc4RUk&feature=related – Roman without Regret,
highly recommended
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOKlBs9Tdjc – Why
Chastity?
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZajdR6Q-
Lw&feature=related – What is Chastity?
Annex
Praise for Achieving Chastity in a
Pornographic World by Fr. Morrow
 Dr. William May calls this book “eminently
practical,” one that gives “great hope” to
people struggling with sexual temptations
and addictions.

Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR said, the

book “effectively brings spirituality and
morality together with the best
contemporary psychological thinking.”

 Get a copy at: http://www.cfalive.org/BOOKS.HTM

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part I

Chastity in essence: order of reason
in sexuality
 “The more necessary something is, the more the order of
reason must be preserved in it.” (St. Thomas) For the
very reason that sexual power is so noble and
necessary a good, it needs the preserving and
defending order of reason.
 Chastity as a virtue, therefore, is constituted in its
essence by this and nothing else, namely, that it
realizes the order of reason in the province of
sexuality. – Josef Pieper, commenting on St. Thomas.
Four Cardinal Virtues

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

John Paul II on how we attain
chastity
The will is “constantly confronted by a value
which fully explains the necessity for
containing impulses aroused by carnal desire
and sensuality.
Only as this value takes possession of the
mind and will does the will become calm
and free itself from a characteristic sense of
loss.”

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

T.G. Morrow on political dealings
with the sexual appetite
 It doesn't work for reason to deal with the appetite "despotically,"
simply saying "no" to the appetite's appeal. If it does, it will repress
the appetite into the unconscious where it will await a chance to
explode (Pope John Paul II, in his Love and Responsibility).
 At a moment of weakness the appetite will indeed explode with an
outburst of sexual activity. This is seen in the person who contains
himself/herself for several weeks but then goes on a spree, and
repeats this cycle over and over.
 The intellect must deal "politically" with the appetite, setting forth the
values which will be gained by living chastity, to make up for the
value of the sexual pleasure which is sacrificed.

Source: http://couragerc.net/chastity.html

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Internet filters

 Major companies put filters in their computers

to help and protect their employees. All wise
families and individuals should do the same.
 Free internet filters:
 http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ - highly rated
by experts and users
 http://www.safefamilies.org/ - has toolkits and
many useful resources

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

Prayer for purity
O most loving Father, we need you to attain purity and the joy it brings, for
without you we can do nothing.

Teach us your children to reverence our bodies and the bodies of our sisters
and brothers in Christ. Help us to recognize in each human body an
incarnate spirit, an image of God, a sacred temple of the Holy Spirit, a
person worth all the blood of Christ, a child of God to be loved with your
benevolent Love.

Teach us to reverence the sacredness of human sexuality, an icon of your

divine self-giving and creative power.

Deliver us, Father, from the evil of seeing the bodies of your daughters and
sons as mere things and objects, and the evil of using them for our own
selfish ends.

Source: http://primacyofreason.blogspot.com/2009/09/prayer-for-chastity.html

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II

To give love, receive love.
Receive from the God who is Love.
 Anyone who wishes to give love
must also receive love as a gift.
 One must constantly drink anew
from the original source, which is
Jesus Christ, from whose pierced
heart flows the love of God.
– Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est

 Prayer, Confession, Eucharist - Grace

Arriving at the Peace of Chastity Part II