Jessica George Adult Roles and Financial

Literacy
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Constructive and
Destructive
Communication
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Learning Objective:

Students will understand the

difference between constructive
and destructive communication.
Students will identify how to
communicate constructively.
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What is destructive communication?

Destructive communication is sharp and

dangerous. It is used to destroy and tear
down relationships.
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Destructive Communication
Role Play
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Destructive Communication:

What was destructive about the

scenario that was just read?
What type of destructive
characteristics did you notice in this
scenario?
Do you feel like this scenario resolved
any conflict? Or did it just create more?
z Blaming
Frequently blame each other while
trying to find out who is at fault, who
started the fight, etc.
Family members frequently blame each
other.
Blaming hurts feelings, results in
arguments, and reduces self esteem.
You are the one thats not listening. You did
this. You should have....
z Interrupting

Interrupts another person, it is a sign

that one idea is more important than
another.
Frequent interruptions stop clear
communication and show disregard for
peoples ideas.
z Endless Fighting

Arguments that never end. Bring up the

old issues that have nothing to do with
what is happening now.
Just like when you.
z Character Assassination
Name calling, belittling comments about
sensitive subjects, and insulting
remarks.
These do nothing but destroy self
esteem, trust, and communication.
Sarcasm can be a form of character
assassination
You are so selfish, you are just like your
Aunt Ruth.
z Calling in Reinforcements

This is one of the most damaging things that

can be done.
This is when you involve outsiders in your
personal relationships and quarrels.
Positions instantly harden because you now
feel the need to save face, it also breaks the
bond of trust you need in all relationships.
Wife explaining to her mother her frustrations
toward her husband.
z Withdrawal

We frequently make the mistake of

believing that not talking is the way to
not communicate.
But avoiding conversation in families
communicates hurt, rejection, neglect,
indifference, and/or anger.
It says I dont care enough about you to
work this out.
z Need to Be Right

Some people refuse to admit any wrong

doing because they have a need to
always be right.
This is a sign of poor self esteem.

Compromise is always the best way to

communicate. Both people feel like
winners and feel respected and
understood.
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What is constructive communication?

Constructive communication is used to create

and foster relationships.
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Constructive
Communication Role Play
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Constructive Communication:

What was constructive about the scenario that was

just read?
Would this conversation be more effective than the
first one we read?
What type of constructive characteristics did you
notice in this scenario?
Do you feel like this scenario resolved any conflict?
Or did it just create more?
z I Messages
Stating the feelings and thoughts you
are having at the time of
communication.
This is good because it allows you to be
responsible for your own thoughts and
feelings without blaming the other person.
I feel frustrated when you tell me to call
you and then you are not home or the line
is busy.
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I Message Practice
z Clarity

Meaning what you say and then saying

what you mean. Problem is
interpretation.
I hope you had a good time at the movie
last night with all of your other friends.
- OR-
I felt bad last night when I heard you
invited everyone but me to go the movie.
z Timing

Select a good time to do your important

communicating.
Asking for something when parents walk
in from work.
z Asking Questions

People seldom say what they really

mean the first time.
Collecting more information helps the
speaker feel like you are listening and
trying to understand.
Why, what, where, when, do you mean?
z Reflective Listening

Listener mirrors back thoughts and/or

feelings the speaker is experiencing.
Purpose is to clarify.
If the listener is wrong in his/her
interpretation of the statement the
speaker can restate more clearly his/her
feelings.
z Respect and Consideration

One sure way of ending good

communication is by being critical or
judgmental. Respect the other persons
point of view.
Everyone wants to be shown respect. It
is important to respect the other
persons point of view even if it is
different from your own.
z Avoiding Intense Anger

Sometimes we become to emotional to

communicate effectively.
Shouting, name calling, and physical
expressions of anger only build
roadblocks, destroy self esteem, and
create fear.