INTERPERSONAL

COMMUNICATION
SKILLS

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WHAT IS INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION?

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INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION IS AN
EXTREMELY PRACTICAL ART…
Your effectiveness as a friend, relationship partner , coworker, family member,
manager, etc. Will depend on your interpersonal skills
For Example, in a survey of 1,001 people over 18 years of age , 53 percent felt
that a lack of effective communication was the major cause of marriage failure – a
factor significantly grater than money (38 percent) or in-law interference (14
percent)
In a similar way , interpersonal skills are crucial to professional success , as has
been widely documented . A report based on interviews with managers, employees
and workers who described the skills they needed to function effectively at their jobs
– identified interpersonal skills as one of the five skills essential for a nation and
an individual to be economically competitive in the world marketplace.

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INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION IS AN EXTREMELY
PRACTICAL ART CONTD…
In a study of more than 500 employees conducted by an employment research institute in
America, “good oral, written and interpersonal communication skills were reported among
the most notable deficiencies observed in new college students”.
In studies. in the health care industry, communication skills likewise figure prominently, both
enabling nurses to rise in the corporate hierarchy and building patient trust . Researchers
have also identified interpersonal skills as one of the six areas that define the professional
competence of physicians and trainee.
The importance of interpersonal communication skills seem to extend over the entire
spectrum of professional.
I hope this course will improve your interpersonal communication skills and thus make you
more effective family members, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, etc.

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TO SUMMARIZE THE ABOVE…

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DEFINITION OF INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Interpersonal communication is the communication that occurs between persons who
have a connection or relationship. Communication occurs when you send or receive
messages and when you assign meaning to such messages.
For Example, Interpersonal communication includes the conversations that take place
between an interviewer and potential employee , between son and his father,
between two sisters, between a teacher and a student , or between two friends.
Even the stranger asking for directions from a local resident has a relationship with
that person.

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 THEORIES OF THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS
….Model:
LINEAR
Some early theories viewed the communication process as linear. In this linear view of
communication , the speaker spoke and the listener listened . Communication was seen as
proceeding in a relatively straight line. Speaking and listening were seen as taking place at
different times – when you spoke , you didn‘t listen ; and when you listened you didn't speak.
Draw backs – the linear model assumes that there is a clear cut beginning and end to
communication. It also displays no feedback from the receiver. For example; a letter, email, text
message, lecture.
Interactional Model:
The Linear Model, or representation of the process , soon gave way to an interactional view in
which the speaker and the listener were seen as exchanging turns and speaking and listening.
For Example , A spoke while B listened and then B Spoke in response to what A said and A
Listened . Speaking and listening were still viewed as separate acts that did not overlap and that
were not performed at the same time by the same person.
Draw backs – there is feedback but it is not simultaneous.

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THEORIES OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
CONTD….
Transactional Model
A more satisfying view and the one currently held, sees communication as
transactional process in which each person serves simultaneously as speaker and
listener, According to the transactional view , at the same time that you send
messages, you’re also receiving messages from your own communications and
from the reactions of other person. And at the same time you’re listening , you’re
also sending messages. In a transactional view, each person is seen as both speaker
and listener (sender-receiver not merely sender or receiver), as simultaneously
communicating and receiving messages.
For example – talking/listening to friends. While your friend is talking you are
constantly giving them feedback on what you think through your facial
expression verbal feedback without necessarily stopping your friend from talking.

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 THEORIES OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
CONTD….
The word transactional indicates that the communication process is cooperative. In other words,
communicators (senders and receivers) are both responsible for the effect and effectiveness of
communication. In a transactional encounter, the sender and receiver do not simply send meaning from
one to the other and then back again; rather, they build shared meaning through simultaneous sending
and receiving.
Field of experience
The influence of a person’s culture, past experiences, personal history, and heredity on the communication
process.
The field of experience refers to a person’s culture, past experiences, personal history, and heredity,
and how these elements influence the communication process . People’s fields of experience overlap at
times, meaning that people share things in common. Where two people’s fields of experience overlap,
they can communicate effectively. And as they communicate, they create more overlap in their
experiences. This process explains why initial encounters often consist of questions and answers between
communicators, such as “Where are you from?”, “What’s your major?”, “Do you ski?” The answers to these
questions help establish the overlap in the communicators’ experiences: “Oh, I was in Chicago over the
holidays last year,” “Really, that’s my major, too,” “Yeah, I don’t ski either.” Further, fields of experience
may change over time.

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HEY, IT IS NOT THAT SIMPLE….
I know that you believe that you
understand what you think I said ,
but I am not sure that you realize that
what you heard is not what is said

Do you see how complicated the

communication process can be?

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TYPES OF INTERACTION
Often, of course , interpersonal communication takes place face-to-face; and this is
the type of interaction that probably comes to mind when you think of conversation.
But, especially today much conversation takes place online. Online communications
are a part of people's experience throughout the world. Such communications are
important personally, socially, and professionally . Let’s look at three major online
types of conversation and the ways in which they differ from one another and from
face-to-face interaction: e-mail, mailing list groups and the chat group.
1. In e-mail, you usually type your letter in an e-mail program and send it from
your computer to your server, which relays your messages through a series of
computer hookups and eventually the server of the person you’re addressing .
Unlike face-to-face communication, e-mail does not take place in real time. You
may not read it for a week and may take another week to respond. Much of the
spontaneity created by real time communication is missing. You may , for
example, be very enthusiastic about a topic when you send your e-mail but
practically forget it by the time someone responds.

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TYPES OF INTERACTION CONTD….
2. The mailing list group consists of a group of people interested in a particular
topic who communicate with one another through e-mail. Generally you
subscribe to a list and communicate with all other members by addressing
your mail to the group e-mail address. Any message you send to this address will
be sent to each member who subscribes to the list . Your message is sent to all of
the members at the same time; there are no asides to the person sitting next to
you, as in face-to-face groups.
3. Chat groups have proliferated across the Internet. These groups enable
members to conserve in real time in discussion groups called channels. At any
one time there are thousands of channels, so your chances of finding a topic
you’re interested in is high. Unlike mailing lists, chat communication takes place in
real time. You see a member's message as it’s being sent ; there’s virtually no
delay. With both mailing lists and face-to-face conversation, the purposes of
chat group resembles the conversation you’d observe at a large party. The
guests divide into small groups varying from two people on up , and each group
discusses its own topic or version of a general topic.

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DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATIONA VS.COMPUTER
CONVERSATION….

1. SIMPLY OBSERVE: In face-to-face conversation, you’re expected to contribute to the ongoing

discussion. In chat groups you can simply observe; in fact, you’re encouraged to lurk or to
observe the participants’ interaction before you say anything yourself. In this way, you’ll be
able to learn the cultural rules and norms of the group.
2. IDENTITY : Another obvious difference between face-to-face and computer communication is
that in face-to face interaction the individuals are clearly identified – at least usually. In
computer-mediated communication, however, you may remain anonymous. You may also
pose as someone you’re not ; as a person of another gender or race, for example, or even
as someone who is significantly older or younger than you really are, or of a significantly
different status. In face-to-face communication your physical self – the way you look, the way
you’re dressed – greatly influence the way your messages will be interpreted.
3. FAKE ID In computer-mediated communication you reveal your physical self through your
own descriptions. Although you may send photos of yourself via computer, you can also send
photos of others and claim they’re of yourself. There is , in short. Much greater opportunity
for presenting yourself as you want to present yourself when communicating via computer.

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 THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS
Source-Receiver :
Interpersonal communication involves at least two persons. Each functions as a source (formulates
and sends messages)and operates as a receiver (receives and understands messages).
By putting your meanings into sound waves (or gestures, facial expressions, or postural
adjustments), you’re putting your thoughts and feelings , into a code, or a set of symbols – a
process called encoding.
By translating sound and light waves into ideas, you’re taking them out of the code they’re in, a
process called decoding. So we can call speakers encoders: and those who make meanings into a
code . And we can call listeners decoders: those who take meanings out of a code.
Correct coding: Usually you encode an idea into a code that the other person understands; for
example , you use words and gestures for which both you and other person have similar
meanings. At times, however, you may want to exclude others; so, for example, you might speak
in a language that only one of your listener knows or use jargon to prevent others from
understanding. At other times, you may assume incorrectly that the other person knows your
code and, for example, unknowingly use words or gestures the other person simply doesn’t
understand. But remember, for interpersonal communication to occur ,then, meanings must be
encoded and decoded as correctly as possible.

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 THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS
Messages :
For interpersonal communication to also exist , messages that express your thoughts and
feelings must be sent and received . Interpersonal communication may be verbal or non-verbal, but
it’s usually a combination of both. You communicate interpersonally with words as well as with
gestures and touch, for example. Even the clothes you wear communicate, as do the way you walk
and the way you shake hand, comb your hair, sit, smile, or frown. Everything about you have the
potential to send interpersonal messages, and every message has an effect or outcome.
Graphical representation and in person :
In face-to-face communication , your messages are both verbal and non-verbal; you supplement
your word with facial expressions, body movements and variations in vocal volume and rate, for
example. When you communicate through a keyboard, your message is communicated basically
with words. This does not mean that you cannot communicate emotional meanings; in fact, some
researchers have argued that diagrams, picture and varied toyed faces enable you to communicate
messages that are rich in emotional meaning. But basically a keyboard or written message is
communicated with words. Because of this sarcasm, for example, is difficult to convey
unambiguously – where as in face-to-face communication you might wink or smile to indicate that your
message should not be taken seriously or literally.

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 THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS
Feedback:
Feedback is a special type of message. When you send a spoken or written message to another
person, you get feedback for your own message: you hear what you say, you feel the way you move, you
see what you write. On the basis of this information, you may, correct yourself , rephrase something, or
perhaps smile at a clever turn of phrase. This is self- feedback.
You also get a feedback from others . The person with whom you’re communicating is constantly sending you
messages that indicate how he or she is receiving and responding to your messages. Nods of agreement,
smiles, puzzled looks, and questions asking for clarification are all examples of feedback. Notice that in
face-to-face communication you can monitor the feedback to the other person as you’re speaking, In computer-
mediated communication that feedback will come much later and thus is likely to be more clearly thought out
and perhaps more closely monitored.
Feedforward :
Much as feedback contains information about messages already sent, feedforward conveys information about
messages before you send them. Opening comments such as “ Wait until you hear this” or “ I am not sure of
this but, ….” or “ Don’t get me wrong, but,…” are examples of feedforward. These messages tell the
listener something about the messages to come or about they way you’d like the listener to respond.
Nonverbally, you give feedforward by , for example, your facial expressions, eye contact and physical
posture.

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 THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS
Channel :
The communication channel is the medium through which message signals pass. The
channel works like a bridge connecting source and receiver. Normally, two, three or
four channels are used simultaneously. Thus , for example , in face-to face speech
interactions , you speak and listen , using the vocal auditory channel . You also ,
however, make gestures and receive these signals visually, using the visual channel.
Similarly , you emit odors and smell those of others (chemical channel). Often you touch
one other and this too communicate (tactile channel).
Another way to classify channels is by the mean of communication. Thus , face-to-
face contact, telephones, e-mail. Movies, television, smoke signals and telegraph
would be types of channels. Of most relevance today, of course, is the difference
between face-to-face and computer-mediated communication. At times one or more
channels may be damaged . For example, in the case of people who are blind, the
visual channels is impaired and so adjustments have to be made.

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 THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS
Noise:
Noise is anything that interferes with your receiving of a message someone is sending or
with their receiving a message .Noise may be physical (loud talking, honking cars, illegible
handwriting, “garbage” on your computer screen). Physiological (hearing or visual
impairment, articulation disorders, memory loss), psychological (preconceived ideas,
wandering thoughts, prejudices) or semantic (misunderstood meanings, language differences
or dialectical differences). Technically, noise is anything that distorts or gets in the way
of the message.
Because messages may be visual as well as spoken, noise too may be visual. Thus ,
sunglasses that prevent someone from seeing the nonverbal messages from your eyes
would be considered noise, as would blurred type on a printed page.
All communication contain noise. Noise cannot be totally eliminated , but its effects can be
reduced. Making your language more precise, sharpening your skills for sending and
receiving nonverbal messages and improving your listening and feedback skills are some
ways to combat the influence of noise.

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 THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS
Context:
Communication always takes place within a context : an environment that influences the form and the content
of communication. At times this context is so natural that you ignore it, like street noise. At other times the
context stands out , and the ways in which it restricts and stimulates your communication are obvious.
The context of communication has at least four dimensions: physical. Cultural, social-psychological and
temporal.
1. The room , workplace or outdoor space in which the communication takes place is physical dimension.
2. The cultural dimension consists of the rules , norms , beliefs and attitudes of the people communicating
that are passed from on generation to another.
3. The social-psychological dimension includes , for example , the status relationship among the
participants: distinctions such as an employer and an employee. The formality or informality , the
friendliness or hostility, etc.. are also part of the social-psychological dimension.
4. The temporal or time dimension has to do with where a particular message fits into a sequence of
communication events . For example, if you tell a joke about sickness immediately after your friend tells
you she is sick , the joke will be perceived differently from the same joke told as one of the series of
similar jokes to your friends in the gym.

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INTERPERSONAL COMPETENCE
Your ability to communicate effectively is your interpersonal competence. The greater
your interpersonal competence , the more options you will have for communicating
with friends, acquaintances , family , colleagues and in just about any situation in
which you will talk with another person. It is much like learning vocabulary : the more
words you know the more ways you will have to express yourself.
Interpersonal competence consists largely of understanding the way interpersonal
communication works and mastering its skills (including power and the often neglected
skills of listening). These skills depend on critical thinking , are specific to given
culture and rest on a ethical foundation.

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COMPETENCE AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
In learning the skills of interpersonal communication (or and set of skills), you will
probably at first sense an awkwardness and self consciousness; the new behaviors
may not seem to fit comfortably. As you develop more understanding and use the
skills more, this awkwardness will gradually fade and the new behavior will begin to
feel comfortable and natural . You will facilitate your progress toward mastery if you
follow a logical system of steps. Here is one possible system, called STEP.
1. Get a clear understanding of what the skill is
2. Understand the theory; if you understand the reasons for the suggestions offered, it will help make the skill more logical.
3. Develop examples, especially your own; this will help to make the material covered here a more integral part of
communication behavior.
4. Practice alone at first, then with supportive friends ,and then in general day-to-day interactions

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COMPETENCE IN POWER AND LISTENING
Communication skills and power are integrally related. If you have strong
interpersonal communication skills , you are likely to have power and influence –
socially, at school, in your close relationships , at work or just about any place where
people interact. If you have poor interpersonal skills, you are likely to have much less
power and influence.
Often we tend to think of competences in interpersonal communication as “speaking
effectiveness”, paying little attention to listening. But listening is an integral part of
interpersonal communication; you cannot be competent communicator if you are a
poor listener.

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COMPETENCE IN CRITICAL THINKING AND
CULTURE
Without critical thinking there can be no competent exchange of ideas, no competent
communication. Critical thinking is logical thinking; it is thinking that is well reasoned,
unbiased and clear. It involves thinking intelligently , carefully and with as much
clarity as possible. It is the opposite of sloppy, illogical or carless thinking.
The term culture refers to the lifestyle of a group of people. A group’s culture consists
of their values, beliefs, artifacts and ways of behaving and ways of communicating.
Culture includes all that members of a social group have produced and developed
their language , ways of thinking, art , laws and religion. Competence in culture is
sometimes specific; communications that prove effective in one culture will not
necessarily prove effective in another. For example, most cultures teach women and
men different attitudes and ways of communicating. Or another example is that some
cultures celebrate birthdays and so receiving a gift on your birthday is quite normal
and expected. However, some other cultures do not celebrate birthdays so giving
gifts would seem awkward.
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COMPETENCE AND ETHICS
Interpersonal communication also involves questions of ethics. These is a moral dimension to
any interpersonal communication act. For example, although it might be effectiveness to lie in
selling a product, it would not be ethical. There are two overriding questions that will
influence all your ethical decisions: Are ethical principles objective or subjective?
In the objective view , you would argue that the rightness or wrongness of an act is absolute
and exits apart from the values and beliefs of any individual or culture. With this view , you
would hold that there are standards that apply to all people in all situations at all times. In
the objective view , lying, false advertising , using illegal obtained evidence or revealing
secrets you have promised to keep is unethical all the time
In the subjective view of ethics , you would argue that absolute statements about right and
wrong are too rigid and that the ethics of messages depends on the culture’s values and
beliefs as well as on the particular circumstance. Thus a subjective position would claim that
lying might be wrong to win votes, but that it might be quite ethical if good world result from
it.

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