Chapter 6

Writing Bad-News Letters

 Chapter 6 Learning Objectives
 List the steps in the inductive outline and
identify the advantages of using it to convey
bad news.
 Write letters refusing a request.
 Write letters denying a claim.
 Write letters refusing to complete an order.
 Write letters denying credit.
 Write a letter providing constructive
criticism.
 List ways to handle special problems about
the unpleasant.
Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing
 TA 6–1 Chapter opener

All managers must know how to deliver

bad news with grace and tact.

I NG
O S
CL
RY
TO
C
FA
Whenever possible, offer alternatives to
“no” and always convey bad news with
sensitivity and empathy.
Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing
 TA 6–2 Inductive Outline: When the Reader When Will Be Displeased

Inductive Outline:
When the Reader Will Be Displeased
Present a neutral idea that leads
to the reasons for the refusal
Patton Industries
1230 Industrial Road
Naperville, IL 60540 www.patton.com

Present facts, analysis, and March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert Duncan

reasons for the refusal

Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835
Dear Bob
You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed
project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the

State the refusal positively;

community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our
population.
The success of this project depends on a good project director.
The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you
described demand an individual with upper-level managerial
experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its

imply the refusal if possible

organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the
Although
minimal level
our current needed. shortage prevents us from lending you an
personnel
executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-

term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign,
solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can
benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.

Close with an idea that shifts the Sincerely

Angela
Angela Larche

emphasis away from the refusal

Director

and indicates a continuing

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

relationship with the reader

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing
 TA 6–3 Techniques for De-emphasizing Negative Ideas (Slide 1 of 2)

Techniques for
De-emphasizing Negative Ideas
 Use inductive outline that positions the bad news between
a logical explanation and a goodwill closing.
 Imply the bad news if possible. Use subjunctive mood.
Had you selected a variable rate, you could have taken
advantage of the recent drop in interest rates.
 Use positive language that accents the good.
Select words with positive connotations.
State what you can do instead of what you cannot
do.
Include a pleasant ideaorder
in the refusal
Not: We cannot ship your until . . . . sentence.
Instead: Your order will be shipped when. . . .

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing
 TA 6–3 Techniques for De-emphasizing Negative Ideas (Slide 2 of 2)

 Offer a counterproposal that shows the writer

wants to help.
Although our current personnel shortage prevents us . .,
we can (alternative).

 Use stylistic techniques:

Complex sentence - bad news in the dependent
clause
General terms and abstract nouns
Passive voice
Not: You failed to verify the payroll figures.
Instead: The payroll figures must be verified. (passive)
Please verify the payroll figures. (focuses on the
solution—not the problem)

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing
 TA 6–4 Bad-News Message: Techniques for First Paragraph

Techniques for First Paragraph

Patton Industries
1230 Industrial Road
 Begin with a buffer -
something about which
Naperville, IL 60540 www.patton.com

both sides can agree

March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert Duncan

Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835
Dear Bob
You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed
 Avoid empty
project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the

acknowledgments of the
community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our
population.
The success of this project depends on a good project director.
The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you
described demand an individual with upper-level managerial
experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its
organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the
Although

obvious
minimal level
our current needed. shortage prevents us from lending you an
personnel
executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-

term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign,
solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can
benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.
Sincerely
Angela  Avoid tipping off the bad
Angela Larche

news too early

Director

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

 Avoid starting too positive

so as to build false hopes
Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing
 TA 6–5 Bad-News Message: Techniques for Reasons and Explanation Section

Techniques for Reasons

and Explanation Section
Patton Industries
1230 Industrial Road
Naperville, IL 60540 www.patton.com
 Provide a smooth transition
March 18, 1999
from the opening to the
Mr. Robert Duncan
Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835
explanation
Dear Bob
You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed
project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the
community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our
 Precede the bad news with
population.
The success of this project depends on a good project director.

one or more reasons that are

The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you
described demand an individual with upper-level managerial
experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its
organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the
Although
minimal level
our current needed. shortage prevents us from lending you an
personnel
executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-

term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign,
solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can
benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.
logical to the reader
Sincerely
Angela
Angela Larche
Director
 Avoid using “company
Makers of Quality Products Since 1903 policy” as the reason
 Show reader benefit and/or
consideration
Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing
 TA 6–6 Bad-News Message: Techniques for Bad-News Sentence

Techniques for
Bad-News Sentence
Patton Industries
1230 Industrial
 Avoid unnecessary use of
negative words
Road www.patton.com
Naperville, IL
60540
March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert Duncan

Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
 Place negative news in buried
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835

position
Dear Bob
You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-
needed project will aid the hundreds of homeless and
increase the community's awareness of the needs of this
The success
sector of this project depends on a good project
of our population.

 State the bad news once;

director. The organizational, leadership, and public relations
activities you described demand an individual with upper-level
managerial experience. During the last year, Nemitz has
decentralized its organization, reducing the number of upper-
Although our current
level managers to thepersonnel shortage
minimal level prevents us from
needed.
lending you an executive, we do want to support your worthy
project.

avoid restating or returning to it

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar
short-term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the
campaign, solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity.
If you can benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700,
extension 791.
Sincerely

 Emphasize any positive aspect

Angela
Angela Larche
Director

 Follow bad news with a

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

counterproposal when possible

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing
 TA 6–7 Bad-News Message: Techniques for Closing Paragraph

Techniques for
Closing Paragraph
Patton Industries
1230 Industrial Road
Naperville, IL 60540 www.patton.com
 Convey an empathetic tone
March 18, 1999
 Avoid returning to the bad
Mr. Robert Duncan
Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835
news
Dear Bob
You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed
project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the
community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our
 Avoid trite, worn-out
population.
The success of this project depends on a good project director.

statements that seem

The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you
described demand an individual with upper-level managerial
experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its
organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the
Although
minimal level
our current needed. shortage prevents us from lending you an
personnel
executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-

term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign,
solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can
benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.
Sincerely
shallow and superficial
 End with a positive, forward-
Angela
Angela Larche
Director

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903 looking idea

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing
 Check Your Writing:
Unpleasant Messages
Use original expression(sentences are not copied
directly from the definition of the problem or from
sample letters in text); omit clichés)
Mechanics
Ensure that keyboarding, spelling, grammar, and
punctuation are perfect
Format
Use correct letter format (block, modified block, or
simplified) and punctuation style (open or mixed)
Balance letter on the page
Include standard letters parts in appropriate
position
Include special parts if necessary (subject line,
enclosure, copy, etc.)
 Check Your Writing:
Unpleasant Messages
Content
 Be sure the principal idea (the
unpleasant idea or refusal) is sufficiently
clear
 Use sufficient supporting details and
present them in a logical sequence
 Verify accuracy of facts or figures
 Structure the message to meet ethical
and legal requirements
Organization
 Structure the first sentence to introduce
the general subject
• without stating the bad news
• without leading the reader to expect
good news
• without making such an obvious
statement as “I am replying to your
letter” or “Your letter has been
received”
 Place details or explanations before bad
 Precede the main idea (unpleasant idea) with
meaningful discussion
 Use a closing sentence that is positive (an
alternative, resale, or sales promotion)
Style
 Write clearly and concisely (e.g., words are
easily understood)
 Use techniques of subordination to keep the
bad news from emerging with unnecessary
vividness. For example bad news
• appears in a dependent clause
• is stated through indirect statement
• is revealed the use of subjunctive mood
 Use first person sparingly or not at all
 Make ideas cohere (changes in thought are
not abrupt)
 Use relatively short sentences that vary in
length and structure
 Keep paragraphs relatively short