Conflict Management

With

Emotional Intelligence

Conflict Broad Definition

Conflict

A disagreement, presumably incompatible, between social entities or interdependent parties, on the distribution of material or symbolic resources and in which the parties act based on mutual perceptions that their objectives are incompatible or even diametrically opposed.

Conflict
Exists whenever two or more parties are in disagreement Is inherent in an organizational system Can increase as the workforce becomes more diverse Dealing with it is part of emotional intelligence

PROGRESSION

The Longer you wait, The worse it gets. The Longer you wait, The harder it is to resolve. The Longer you wait, The more difficult it is to go back to what it was before.

conflict deepens
Wastes Energy & Resources
Mission Mission

Misaligned objectives
Chaos-confusion, untrustworthniness, avoidance, if only approach, broken bonds, lack of comm.

Vision

Initiation of conflict-concern

Conflict spreads leadership and awareness issues

ASK: does conflict worsens and spreads if nothing is done ?

Vision

ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT?

OR YOU STILL THINK (not feel) THAT IQ MATTERS MORE THAN EQ

IQ v/s EQ
(Intelligence Quotient v/s Emotional Quotient)

The research shows that IQ can help you to be successful to the extent of 20 percent only in life. The rest of 80 percent success depends on your EQ

20% IQ 80% EQ

GETS YOU HIRED

GETS YOU FIRED/PROMOTED

SUCCESS

Attributes of a High EQ Person

A time to wait and a time to watch, A time to be aggressive and a time to be assertive or passive, A time to be together and a time to be alone, A time to fight and a time to love, A time to work and a time to play, A time to cry and a time to laugh, A time to confront and a time to withdraw, A time to speak and a time to be silent, A time to be patient and a time to decide.
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Attributes of a low EQ Person

If only I had a different job If only I had finished my PhD If only I were not such a rude person If only I had good communication skills If only I had been born rich and famous If only I had good contacts If only I had better friends If only I had listened to the boss
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if you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. now put foundations under them.

True or False?
1. A happy worker is a productive worker. 2. Decision makers tend to continue supporting a course of action even though information suggests that the decision is ineffective.

3. Organizations are more effective when they prevent conflict among employees.

True or False?
4. It is better to negotiate alone than as a team. 5. Companies are most effective when they have a strong corporate culture. 6. Employees perform better without stress.

True or False?
7. Effective organizational change always begins by pinpointing the source of its current problems. 8. Female leaders involve employees in decisions to a greater degree than do male leaders. 9. People in Japan value group harmony and duty to the group (high collectivism) more than do Americans (low collectivism).

True or False?
10. Top-level executives tend to exhibit a Type A behavior pattern (i.e., harddriving, impatient, competitive, shorttempered, strong sense of time urgency, rapid talkers). 11. Employees usually feel over reward inequity when they are paid more than co-workers performing the same work.

A model of emotional intelligence and organisational effectiveness

(Taken from Cherniss, C. & Goleman, D.,

Conflict is inevitable in any setting with any relationship. Where two or three are gathered, there will be conflict in their midst.

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you will treat every situation that you encounter as a nail
Abraham Maslow

Conflict
nothing happens until something moves.
A. Einstein

Behavior which create Conflicts

Condescending and demeaning comments Overruling decisions Disrupting meetings Giving silent treatment to others Ignoring people Not giving credit where credit is due Giving dirty looks or negative eye contact

Ways to Intervene in Conflicts

Conflict Management

Generic term that covers a range of positive ways to manage a conflict. The goal is not necessarily to solve the problems but to minimize their negative impact.

Conflict Resolution

The permanent resolution of a conflict through the satisfaction of the needs and interests of both parties. The fundamental issues that caused the conflict are taken into consideration. Rather than simply negotiating the tangible issues, the goal is to identify the roots of the conflict and to re-establish a good relationship between the parties.

Types of CONFLICT

Armed Conflict:

Conflict in which the parties resort to the use of force Violent Conflict: In addition to the characteristics of Armed Conflict, one of the parties makes a disproportionate use of force (genocide of unarmed civilians) Inter-state Conflict: Between one or more States

Intra-state Conflict:

Inside the territory of a State

Political-Institutional Crisis: Modification or possible modification of the institutional order of a country without this necessarily rupturing the constitutional regime - rupturing of the democratic and constitutional institutions.

Types of CONFLICT Intra Personal: Inter Personal:

Intra-Group: Intergroup:

Alternative Conflict Management Styles.

Style Explanation

Avoiding Style (-,-)

If I ignore the problem, it will go away If I confront the problem, I may hurt someones feelings Why bother it wont change anything

Accommodating (-,+)
Its easier to just give in and give them what they want You will be better liked if you just agree By letting the other person win this time, you will win next time you have to pick your battles.

Style Explanation
Compromising

Style (-,-)

Its only fair because then neither of us get what we want. Both parties are on an even playing field We can choose to give up something we really dont need, thereby winning.
Competing

Style (+,-)

Im right and youre wrong There is only one solution

Style Explanation

Collaborating (+,+)

We can find a solution that works for both of us. By asking the other persons perspective, I can understand them. Once we find a common ground, we can work from there.

Competing Skills

Arguing or debating Using rank or influence Asserting your opinions and feelings Standing your ground Stating your position clearly

Avoiding Skills Ability to withdraw Ability to sidestep issues Ability to leave things unresolved Sense of timing

Accommodating Skills Forgetting your desires Selflessness Ability to yield Obeying orders

Compromising Skills Negotiating Finding a middle ground Assessing value Making concessions

Collaboration Skills
Active listening Nonthreatening confrontation Identifying concerns Analyzing input

Your Attitude
Leave Behind

Take With You

Your desire to win, punish, or control Your desire that everything be fair Your assumption that it wont work Your tendency to think in black and white, right or wrong Your determination to be right.

A willingness to work at this An understanding that perception is reality both for you and those around you. A willingness to learn from the situation A willingness to see and acknowledge your own contribution to the problem.

Creating Empathy By What We Think:

Empathy is learning to listen with your head and your heart

Take seriously the other persons needs and concerns. We must value their right to their feelings and attitudes. Their privacy, values and experiences. Reserve judgment and blame.

Creating Empathy By What We Do

Be

aware of and respectful of any cultural differences Look at the person and take an active interest in what they are saying Ask relevant questions for clarification Use open body language Be very aware of facial expression Make affirming gestures Use a warm vocal tone

Empathy Blockers! Domination:

Threatening Ordering Criticizing Name Calling Shoulding